


Heaven Help Us

by MistressMacha



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: F/M, M/M, My Chemical Romance References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:07:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 34,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24627511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistressMacha/pseuds/MistressMacha
Summary: A fic set in the Danger Days universe, before the birth of the Girl but when BLI is still hunting down the Killjoys.  Helena meets Party Poison when he is lying near death in the middle of the road and ends up joining their little gang after saving his life... but there may be a little friction when she comes between Party Poison and Fun Ghoul.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way, Fun Ghoul/Party Poison (Danger Days), Gerard Way/Fun Ghoul, Gerard Way/Helena Way, Party Poison/Frank Iero, Party Poison/Helena
Kudos: 34





	1. 1

“I said, we'll drown ourselves in misery tonight  
I lied, you've worn out all your dancing shoes this time  
Just give us war, worn lipstick by the door if I inflame  
These eyes have had too much to drink again tonight- SHIT!” The crimson-haired man in the blue leather jacket and grey skintight jeans lying facedown in the middle of the road had appeared as if from nowhere. Helena abruptly stopped singing, slammed her foot down on the brake and yanked the steering hard to the right. Her car went into a spin and took out three cacti at the side of the road, ending up facing the wrong direction with smoking tyres. “Please don’t have run him over, please don’t have run him over…” She forced herself to look out the window and he seemed fine. Except for being unconscious in the middle of the road.  
“Mr Skinny Pants?” Helena climbed out of her car. “Are you OK?”  
He didn’t move. His hands, clad in brown leather driving gloves, were crumpled limply in front of him, and a neon yellow gun was lying in the road a few feet away.  
“Shit, you better not be dead, asshole.” Helena took a deep breath and rolled him over. His eyes were closed and his smooth skin was deathly white, but he was still warm. “Hey, asshole!” She shoved him gingerly with her foot, sighed, and knelt down beside him. He really was quite beautiful. He had black eyebrows despite his crimson hair, and peachy pink full lips. His blue leather jacket was quilted in front with a patch reading “Dead Pegasus.” “Hey, Mr Dead Pegasus!” She leaned down and held her ear against his chest. Nothing. Shit. Helena took a deep breath and placed her hands on his chest. “OK, one, two, three, four, five!” She stopped to catch her breath, tilted up his chin, and pressed her lips against his. They were the softest lips she had ever felt, and he tasted slightly of pineapples. Weird. OK. She blew as hard as she could into his mouth, watching his chest rise and fall. She took another breath and put her hands back on his chest. “One, two, three, four, five!” She breathed into his mouth again, fighting the urge to run her tongue over his lips for a better taste. “Come ON, Mr Dead Pegasus!” She took another breath and placed her hands on his chest. “One, two, three, four, five!” She took another deep breath and blew into his mouth again, lingering a little on his lips. God, they were so soft and perfect. “OK, Mr Dead Pegasus. Let’s do this. One, two, thr-“ The man suddenly reared up, rolled sideways, and vomited what smelled like a mix of vodka and pills on the tarmac. He gasped and vomited again, and then a third time.  
“Oh God…” The man covered his eyes with his hand. “Am I alive?”  
“Yes.” Helena rolled her eyes and opened the back door of her Trans Am. “Thanks to me.”  
“You don’t understand!” The man amazed her by bursting into tears. “I wanted to die, I didn’t want to live in this world any more, I can’t bear it anymore-  
“Suicide is bullshit.” Helena leaned down and stroked his hair. “But I understand. I’m going to give you a ride home, OK?”  
The man answered by vomiting on the road again.  
Helena sighed. “Just don’t puke in my car or I’m throwing you out. Can you stand?”  
“Of course.” The man attempted to stand and fell flat on his face. “Fuck.”  
“Take that as a no.” Helena took a deep breath and scooped him up to carry him to her car. “Jesus, when did you last eat? You weigh about as much as one of my thighs.”  
The man muttered a curse.  
“Bitch yourself.” Helena stuffed him in the rear seat of the car. “Where do you live, Mr Dead Pegasus?”  
“The old motel in Amboy.” Party Poison frowned. “Why are you wearing a ballgown?”  
“It’s the end of the world.” Helena turned and smiled at him. It was the first time he had seen her smile. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. “As far as I’m concerned, there’s no dress code, Mr Dead Pegasus.”  
“Party Poison.”  
Helena gave him a look. “Excuse me?”  
“My name is Party Poison.”  
Helena burst out laughing. “My dick it is.”  
“As far as you’re concerned it is.” Party Poison closed his eyes and waited for the world to stop spinning.  
“OK, well, I am just the girl who saved your life at the side of the road.” Helena put the car in gear and pulled back onto the road. “I’m Helena.”  
“Just Helena?”  
“As far as you’re concerned it is.” Helena laughed. “See how I can play this game?”  
“Bitch.”  
“Whore.” Helena looked out the window for road signs. “This is Amboy. Where’s this motel?”  
“Opposite the old gas station.” Party Poison sat up. “When we get there, ask for a guy named Fun Ghoul.”  
Helena burst out laughing. “Fun Ghoul?”  
“Fun Ghoul.”


	2. 2

The door creaked open and Party Poison opened one eye. It’s OK, it’s dark. In the dark, no one can tell you’ve been crying. “Helena?”  
“Hi.” She tiptoed over. “Room for one more?”  
He frowned. “Something wrong with your room? Because Jet Star sure as hell bitched about having to move in with Fun Ghoul."  
“No, I-“ She bit her lip. “When I- well, when I… when I felt the way you do, I did NOT need to be alone. So, I’m here. Want some company?”  
Party Poison lay in silence for a moment and then wordlessly flipped the covers open. Helena climbed in and moulded herself into his body. “How long were you crying before I got here?”  
“I wasn’t crying,” said Poison defensively.  
“Yes you were.” Helena hugged him. “I know you were, because I would be. It’s OK to cry.”  
Somehow that seemed to open the floodgates and he burst into thick, heavy tears that just would not stop, no matter how much he tried. Helena just hugged him quietly and rested her head between his shoulderblades, tracing reassuring circles on his chest.  
Eventually he stopped and just lay in silence, shoulders hitching, and she hugged him tighter and kissed him between the shoulderblades. “You’re OK. It’s going to be OK.”  
“It’s never going to be OK.” He wrapped his arms around himself tightly. “The world is gone. My world is gone.”  
“Everyone’s world is gone, but I’ll be damned if we’re not taking it back.” Helena grinned into his back and he laughed and rolled over to face her. “You in a talking mood now?”  
“He shook his head and lay in silence, taking her hand in his and squeezing it. "Not exactly. I... I just don't want to be alone any more."  
Helena smiled sadly and started to stroke his cheek. "You're not alone. I'm here. and I'll hold your hand all night if you need it.'  
They lay awake in silence, Helena stroking his cheek, and Poison suddenly leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips. He hesitated, then gently kissed her again, his thumb stroking the corner of her mouth. She looked into his eyes and sucked on the tip of his thumb and then kissed it, squeezing his hand in hers.  
Poison took a breath, leaned in and slipped his hand into her panties. “That OK?”  
She answered him by tearing off his Rolling Stones T-shirt she had borrowed and then his tank top, wrapping her arms tightly around him and pressing her chest against his as she kissed him hard, tearing off said panties.  
“Holy shi-“ was all Poison had time to say before her mouth was on his again, more passionately this time, and he had the distinct impression she was somehow trying to eat him alive. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and kissed her deeply, his tongue deep in her mouth as he suddenly realised he was the only one wearing underwear. Or any clothes. Helena quickly fixed that, flicking off his boxers with one toe and grabbing his hair, pulling it almost painfully as she rolled onto her back and pulled him on top of her, not breaking lip contact as she spread her legs. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him inside her, moaning loudly into his mouth as he slipped one hand under her lower back and pushed her up, his right hand beginning to finger her rapidly and urgently. She tightened her legs and pulled him all the way inside her, letting out a quiet scream and hugging him so close he could barely breathe. Poison felt like he was going to die with pleasure. “JESUS, Helena!”  
“Fuck me, Poison, fuck me HARD…” Helena bit down on his lip until he tasted blood and began to kiss his neck. “Oh GOD, harder, harder…”  
He wasn’t sure how much harder he could go, least of all satisfy this devil woman who had somehow found her way into his bed. He began to stroke her again, moving his fingers up and down, and she clutched his hair and moaned. “Oh God, oh God, oh God…” She pressed herself against his fingers and began to rub up against him. “Oh God, oh God, oh God…”  
Poison bit back a moan as she moved up and down, deliberately clenching her muscles around him as he pushed inside her, at first more gently and then deeper and more desperate.  
Poison had never felt anything like it before, but he definitely knew he liked it. “Helena, oh man, Helena, you… you…”  
Helena’s nails were easily an inch deep in his back and her head was arched back into the pillow, her eyes half closed and her mouth open. “Oh my GOOOOOOD!” Her back arched and her eyes rolled back in her head as she came violently, and Poison definitely felt blood start to trickle down his back from her fingernails. She was panting hard now as she kissed him, one hand on the back of his head now pushing his lips against hers. “Do it again, do it again…”  
AGAIN?! Well, Poison was never one to back from a challenge and he started to stroke and move his fingers again as he pushed harder and harder, getting off a little from the pain of her nails in his back. Well, that’s new. Her legs started to tighten around him and she moaned loudly, her neck arching into the pillow and her breaths coming fast and hard as he moved his fingers.  
“GOD, Poison, you taste so GOOD!” Helena began to suck on his neck and shoulder, her tongue flicking across his skin before her lips were back on his, pressing against them desperately as she forced her tongue back into his mouth. “I could just suck on you all day… you’re delicious-OH RIGHT THERE! MORE! MORE!” It only took three more thrusts before she actually screamed, her whole body contorting and twisting as she came more violently than he had ever seen. He only managed a few more seconds himself before he came himself, moaning loudly and shuddering as he collapsed on top of her. “Helena, Helena, Helena, Helena, oh, Helena… He felt her lips smiling against his and she started to kiss him deeply again, wrapping her arms around his bleeding back and starting to thrust her hips up into his. “So, my beloved Dead Pegasus…” she murmured, kissing him again, her mouth open and her tongue darting against his. “Want to do it again?”

“Please don’t,” came Kobra Kid’s trembling voice from the other bed.


	3. 3

“Nice hickeys, Poison,” smirked Jet Star. “How’d you get the shower to give you those?”  
“Shut the fuck up.” Party Poison sat on the stoop of the motel and lit a cigarette. “I… fell, is all.”  
“On someone’s mouth?” Fun Ghoul gave him a look. “How’d you get them to suck on your neck after you fell on them?”  
“Good morning!” Helena swept out of the motel in her black ballgown, black hair pinned up on the back of her head. “Jet Star, your room is great!”  
“They know,” said Party Poison.  
“Oh. Well, good morning! Jet Star, your friend is a truly mindblowing lover.” Helena sat down next to Poison, took his cigarette out of his mouth, and took a drag. “And I mean MINDBLOWING.” She winked, gave Poison a quick kiss, and put the cigarette back in his mouth.  
“We know.” Jet Star pointed at the motel. “We thought it was an earthquake until we heard you screaming for God. You made the whole building shake.”  
“You hear that, P?” Helena smiled, put her arm around Poison’s shoulders, and began to kiss the side of his neck. “You made EVERYONE’S world move…”  
Poison cleared his throat and stood up. “Fun Ghoul’s been eyeing your car since we got here.” He pointed at the Trans Am. “Nice spider decal, by the way.  
“What can I say, P, I like to personalise my cars.” Helena smiled at him and something inside Poison turned over. “Ghoul, you want to talk specs?”  
“YEAH I want to talk specs!” Fun Ghoul almost sprinted to the Trans Am as she popped the hood and propped it open. “1978?”  
“Nice call, Mr Fun Ghoul.” Helena smiled at him and Poison felt an unexpected twinge of jealousy. “1978 Trans Am Firebird V8, automatic transmission because the lousy bitch I bought it from couldn’t drive stick.” She glanced at Poison and winked. “I, however, am quite skilled at handling stick…”  
Poison swallowed and moved a magazine over his lap.  
Fun Ghoul was completely oblivious. “Rear wheel drive?”  
“You know it.” Helena gestured at the engine. “Rochester 4 barrel carburetor, 220HP, 320Ft-lbs of torque, 3.8in stroke… this thing can make you hot just by thinking about it.”  
“Uh huh, uh huh…” Fun Ghoul was running his hands over the roof of the car, practically salivating. “Can you take me for a ride sometime?”  
“Honey, I’ll tell you what.” Helena pulled out a set of keys on a magic 8-ball keychain and tossed them to him. “You want to take her for a ride yourself?”  
Fun Ghoul looked at her like she had given him the greatest gift on Earth. “Serious?”  
“Serious.” Helena walked back to the motel stoop, swung her thigh over Poison’s leg, and took the cigarette out of his mouth again. “Deadly serious.” She pressed her lips against Poison’s for a wonderful, lingering second. “Just bring her back intact, OK?”  
Fun Ghoul yelled something unintelligible and took off like a bat out of hell. Helena threw her head back and laughed, took a long drag on Poison’s cigarette, and gave him a quick kiss. “You feeling better today, P?” She began to subtly move her hips, pushing against him. “Because we can always talk about it if you’re not.” She leaned in to whisper in his ear. "I want to make love to you right here, P..."  
Christ. Poison tried to say he was fine but what came out was a strange high-pitched sound. He cleared his throat. “I’m feeling much better today. I - JESUS - I mean, I was just having a bad day yesterday.”  
"I'm glad. I just love it when you feel good, P." Helena grinned and bit on his ear. “You are so fucking delicious, I could just suck on you all day long…”  
Jet Star rolled his eyes. “And thus the hickeys.”  
“Mmmm…” Helena started to suck her way down Poison’s neck while he fought the urge to sit still. “You taste so GOOD!” She sighed, sat up, and gave him a quick kiss before popping the cigarette back between his lips. “Mmmm..." She started to kiss her way back up his neck and paused, flicking her tongue into his ear and lowering her voice. "Do you want to make love to me, P?"  
He nodded frantically, and she smiled and stroked his face. "Soon, P. Soon."  
Suddenly she was off his lap and he felt an odd sense of loss, followed by a sudden more urgent need to cover his lap with the magazine again.  
“Mr Jet Star, are you OK with my taking your room?” Helena sat next to him, her hands cradling her chin and her elbows on her knees. “Because I know it was kind of sudden my turning up carrying your friend yesterday, and then it getting so late I had to stay, it must have been… awkward. You know, to accommodate me at the last minute.”  
“Oh, I’d say Poison managed to accommodate you just fine.” Jet Star grinned. “In fact, I think it might be the Kid in my room now.”  
Helena feigned innocence. “Why?”  
“Because he came stumbling out here when I was having a smoke at like 5 in the morning and hasn’t said a word since.”  
“Huh. How strange.” Helena smiled innocently, stood up, and kicked off her shoes. “Did I ever tell you guys I was a prima ballerina?” She began to pirouette, slowly raising her arms above her head as her skirt flared around her and she went up on point, moving into a penche as Jet Star and Party Poison’s eyes almost popped out of their heads. She threw her head back and laughed and went into a series of jumps and leaps and pirouettes, ending in an arabesque with the tip of her nose brushing against Poison’s and her breath in his open mouth, her eyes staring directly into his. She held the position for a few seconds and then slowly leaned forward to press her lips against his, her tongue darting into his mouth for a second as she stroked the side of his face with one hand, whispering under her breath so quietly that Poison had to strain to hear her. "I'm going to make love to you all night, P. I am going to stroke every inch of your body, over and over and over, and then I am going to kiss you until your lips bleed."  
Poison tried and failed to suppress a moan deep in his throat, clenching his fists and summoning every ounce of willpower he had to avoid grabbing her by the waist and pulling her into his lap right there.  
“Uh… should I leave?” asked Jet Star.  
Poison felt Helena smile against his lips before she broke the kiss. “No, it’s fine. Damned if I’m getting into anything until that crazy ass Ghoul brings my car back.” She sat back down on the stoop next to Poison and innocently took his hand. “Thanks for the kiss, P.”  
“I… never knew you used to be a dancer,” managed Poison.  
“THIS CAR IS HOT AWESOME!” Fun Ghoul roared up in the Trans Am and skidded to a halt, showering Jet Star with gravel. Jet Star swore and stomped back inside the motel. “I HAVE NEVER FELT ANYTHING LIKE THIS IN MY LIFE!”  
“I bet you have,” whispered Helena, her teeth catching on the lobe of his ear. Poison almost laughed. Last night he definitely had. “So you liked her, Mr Fun Ghoul?”  
“LOVED her!” Fun Ghoul jumped out of the car and slammed the door. “The way it just loves those straights but hangs onto those corners like a” He caught himself. “Thanks for letting me have a run in her, Helena.”  
“Sure, Mr Fun Ghoul.” Helena laughed as Fun Ghoul almost skipped back into the motel and slowly walked back to Poison, swinging her hips and hitching up her skirt before she swung her thigh across his legs, pressing her crotch into his. “So, Mr Dead Pegasus…” She began to kiss up and down the side of his neck and then suddenly whipped off his tank top and threw it over her shoulder. “I think you liked those little scratches you got last night, yes?” She dug her nails into his shoulder as she kissed him hard on the lips and he let out a quiet moan that she interpreted as “yes”. “Well…” Helena drew her nails sharply across his back and Poison cried out, feeling desperately for the zipper at the back of her ballgown.  
“Wait! Bedroom! Bedroom!” Poison pointed reluctantly and frantically behind them at the motel. “Not here!”  
Helena looked at him with raised eyebrows, forcing her lips against his again as she undid the waistband of his jeans and slipped her hand inside. “Why not here?”  
“Because- oh Jesus, oh Jesus…” Poison was struggling to remember as she tugged his jeans down his thighs and began to rub violently against him. “BECAUSE!”  
“Oh, fine.” Helena rolled her eyes and climbed off his lap. In a desperate rush to get to the bedroom, Poison yanked up his pants with one hand and started to run with the other, and promptly fell over. His tank top lay somewhere forgotten in the darkness. Helena burst out into laughter and Poison blushed, and then she was on top of him, her ballgown around her waist and kissing him deeply, her hand back in his pants and her arm around his back as she moulded her body to his. “Bedroom?”  
Poison stared at her chest, and somehow mustered all his willpower. “No! Bedroom!” He stumbled to his feet and scooped her up in his arms, stumbling into the motel as she kissed his chest and neck, her tongue darting all over his body and her hands grabbing at his hair.  
“You taste fantastic, oh God, you’re so good, P, oh God…” Helena buried her face in the side of his neck and sucked hard on his skin.  
Poison was feeling deep waves of pleasure as he staggered down the corridor as fast as he could, praying his pants were not going to keep slipping down and make him trip. Or, worse, that he was going to come in them. “Oh God, Jesus, all the saints…”  
“STOP PRAYING OUTSIDE MY DOOR!” yelled Jet Star.  
“Ohhhh, Ohhhhhh… Helena started to bite on his skin and Poison felt a new, deeper wave of pleasure as thin rivulets of blood ran down his chest. That’s definitely new. “Oh, oh, oh, OH!” Helena was kissing him harder now, moaning loudly into his mouth, and his pants finally decided to slip down. He tripped and fell, dropping Helena on the disgusting motel carpet. Helena grabbed him and pulled him back on top of her, kissing him hard and forcing her tongue in his mouth, grabbing one of his hands and placing it on her chest as she thrust up against him.  
“No! Bedroom!” Poison was determined, even as he stroked her chest and she wrapped her legs around his waist to better rub against him. “Oh sweet Jesus oh SWEET JESUS!” He finally yanked off her ballgown and panties as she pushed off his jeans and boxers, and at the same moment Helena threw her head back and screamed as she came hard, pushing herself up against him and clenching her fingers and toes.  
“Oh P, oh P, oh P…” She was panting hard as she kissed him, dragging her nails across his back. “OK. Bedroom.”  
Poison stared at her. “Bedroom NOW?”  
“I will lick you ALL OVER.”  
Poison grabbed her and stumbled to his feet. “Bedroom. Bedroom NOW.” They finally reached the motel bedroom door, Helena already kissing his neck and working her way down his chest. He somehow got it open and they both fell in, her body on top of his, and she immediately climbed on top of him, her hands in his hair and yanking his face upwards in a mixture of pleasure and pain. She lowered herself an inch or so onto him, laughing at the pleasure and agony on his face as she slowly lowered herself inch by inch, moving up and down as she went. “Oh Jesus Helena, come on, come on Helena, Jesus HELENA OH FUCK HELENA!”  
Helena laughed, clenched her thighs around the sides of his waist and slowly lowered herself completely onto him, burying her face in the side of his neck and starting to kiss him, moving up until she was kissing his lips harder and harder. He wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her body tightly against his as she tightened her hands in his hair and started to rub against him, moving back and forth and panting harder harder and harder. “P, oh P, oh P, you’re everything, oh P…” Helena looked closely into his eyes and he smiled back, then gasped as she moved faster and faster.  
“Helena, Helena, Helena, HELENA…” He somehow managed to take a breath in between kisses. “Oh Helena, oh God, oh JESUS!””  
“P, oh GOD P-“Helena came fast and hard, her body convulsing above him as she looked into his eyes and pressed her lips against his, and a second later he followed, letting out a cry that made Jet Star bang on the wall between rooms.  
“P, oh P, oh P, oh P…” Helena kissed him gently, stroking the sides of his face with her hands.  
He wrapped an arm around the back of her neck, looking deeply Into her eyes. “Helena, Helena, Helena…” He tickled the side of her neck. “You are so beautiful.”  
She laughed and kissed him. “I think you’re prettier than me, P.”  
He took a deep breath and kissed her gently, looking into her eyes. “It’s Gerard.”  
Helena frowned.  
“My name. It’s Gerard.”


	4. 4

“I don’t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz, or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:  
I love you as one loves certain obscure things, secretly, between the shadow and the soul.” Poison paused for a second and smiled as Helena kissed him gently.  
“I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom but carries the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself,  
and thanks to your love the tight aroma that arose from the earth lives dimly in my body.”  
Poison paused again and kissed Helena’s wet cheeks as tears began to stream down them silently, his thumbs brushing them away as he kissed her softly.  
“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,  
I love you directly without problems or pride:  
I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love,  
except in this form in which I am not nor are you,  
So close that your hand upon my chest is mine,  
So close that your eyes close with my dreams.”  
“That’s beautiful, P.” Helena sniffed and wiped her eyes, resting her head on his shoulder as they sat on the front steps of the motel. “Did you write that?”  
Poison laughed. “No, Pablo Neruda did. Great Chilean poet.” He smiled and kissed her, more deeply this time, his hands on the sides of her face as her hands tangled in his hair and pulled his face closer, and suddenly he understood what Neruda meant when he wrote of “I am not nor are you.” He wrapped his arms around her back and hugged her tightly, pressing his chest so closely against hers he could barely breathe.  
“I can feel your heart beating, P.” Helena was resting the tip of her nose against his cheek, her hands in his hair, and in that moment Poison knew that he would die for her. “I can feel it in my chest. I feel it stronger than mine.” He felt her smile as she kissed him. “It’s beautiful.”  
“That’s because it’s yours.” Poison kissed her again, and she pressed her lips harder against his, opening her mouth and stroking the sides of his face with her thumbs, her hands still tangled in his hair. “I would die for you, Helena.”  
She smiled and kept kissing him, barely pausing for breath. “And I for you.” She paused and looked seriously into his eyes. “My heart is yours too, my love. And I would, and will, die for you.”  
He stroked the side of her face. “I love you, Helena.”  
“Your heart is beating faster.” Helena smiled and stroked his lips with her thumb, pressing her forehead against his as she looked into his eyes. “I love you too, Gerard.”  
He smiled and started to kiss her again, crushing his lips against her mouth, and then her hand was under her skirt and she was unzipping his jeans and pushing her panties aside, her hand moving slowly and deliberately as she stroked him. Every time he thought he couldn't be more aroused, this perfect, beautiful, insatiable devil woman was determined to prove him wrong. He wanted to scream, his fingernails digging deeply into his palms.  
“Oh God, Helena…” Poison bit his lip. “Where did you learn-“  
“Ssssshhhh.” She leaned in and kissed him again. “Quiet, my love.” Her hand was still moving, her fingertips tickling the underside and her thumb stroking the tip, and then she was pulling him deep inside her, tightening her thighs around his hips as she moved gently up and down, maybe an inch at a time. She wrapped one arm tightly around the back of his neck and stared into his eyes as she kissed him again and again, breathing hard. “I love you,” she whispered, suddenly clenching her muscles around him in a way that made his vision black out for a second. “I would do anything for you.”  
He bit his lip, trying not to cry out as she moved faster and harder. “It’s been a month, but…” He broke off, unable to suppress a moan, and she smiled and placed one finger across his lips before kissing him gently. “…it feels like a lifetime,” he breathed.  
She smiled and kissed him deeply, her hands raking across his back and drawing blood, and he could barely stop himself crying out. “In quantum physics,” she whispered, kissing him harder, “a month can be an eternity.”  
“Helena.” He looked at her seriously, feeling her heart pounding in his chest as she moved faster and faster. “I want to spend eternity with you,” he breathed, and she smiled and kissed him hard, her whole body trembling as she moved more and more frantically, and then her body arched and she moaned his name quietly, throwing her head back and coming powerfully and silently as her whole body shook. Seeing the flushed smile on her face as she looked back into his eyes was enough to push him over and Poison came fast and hard, unable to suppress a long, breathy “Helena.”  
She leaned in and kissed him softly. “I want to spend eternity with you too, Gerard.”  
He smiled. "I told you why we can't use that name. I'm Poison now."  
"But I don't want to spend eternity with Poison." She smiled back and kissed him gently. "I want to spend eternity with you."  
“Is all you two do make out on the front steps and have sex in the corridors?” Jet Star rolled his eyes as he came out of the front door of the motel and cracked open a beer. “Last night one of the light fixtures fell off the wall.”  
Poison blushed. Not only had the light fixture actually been knocked off the wall when Helena threw him against it, but he had realised that he was actually still inside her.  
“No,” replied Helena, completely straight-faced. “This morning, he recited me some Chilean poetry.”  
“Chilean poetry?!” Jet Star burst out laughing. “Poison wouldn’t know poetry if it bit him in the ass.”  
Which, coincidentally, Helena had done the night before, thought Poison. He shifted uncomfortably, painfully aware of the raw bite mark.  
Helena laughed quietly and leaned in, nibbling his ear. “Got a little - or should I say big - problem there, P?”  
“If we leave it much longer I’m going to get hard again,” hissed Poison, aware of the urgency of the situation.  
She gave him an innocent look. “Would that be so bad?”  
“I am not going to make love to you with Jet Star two feet away.”  
Helena laughed and stroked his cheek, which definitely did not help. “Don’t worry, my love, I got this.” She faked a yawn, stretching her arms high over her head and leaning backwards, giving him the chance to slip out of her, Now he just had to get back inside his pants. “Darn, I think the netting on my gown is tangled up. Can you fix that for me, P? You can see better without Mr Jet Star here seeing my panties.”  
“Thank God,” muttered Poison, reaching under her skirt and tucking himself safely back inside his pants, disguising the sound of the zipper with a cough. “Got it.”  
“Thank you, my love, because it’s so hard to replace couture at the end of the world.” Helena smiled, leaned in, and kissed him. “Love you.”  
He grinned. “Love you too.”  
Jet Star mimed vomiting.  
Fun Ghoul came sprinting out of the motel. “We have to go. Now.”  
Jet Star looked at him. “Dr D?”  
Helena’s head snapped up. “He knows?”  
Poison put his arm around her. “It’s OK-“  
She brushed him off. “It’s not.” She ran to the Trans Am, yanked a map from the inner compartment, and spread it across the hood. “190 miles via CA 62 to my office at CalTech. I have a million ways to fix this from there.”  
Poison frowned. “CalTech?”  
“I’m a senior professor. I have multiple advanced degrees in engineering and computer programming.” Helena folded the map and threw it back in the Trans Am. “I’m how you live. Get in.”  
“I call shotgun!” yelled Jet Star.  
“Poison gets shotgun,” said Helena.  
Jet Star looked hurt. “Why?”  
“Because he’s the one who gives me multiple orgasms. Now go arm yourselves.” Helena opened the passenger door and grabbed an enormous neon red gun, strapping it around her waist. She grabbed another red gun, hitched up her dress, and strapped it to her thigh, and then a third she buckled to her ankle. “You bitches ready to go yet? I got my sniper rifle in the trunk.”  
Fun Ghoul, Jet Star, and Kobra Kid crammed themselves into the back seat, while Poison shrugged on his blue jacket and climbed into the front passenger seat. “Mmmmm, sexy,” Helena leaned in and gave him a kiss. “I love a man with a gun.”  
Kobra Kid cleared his throat. “It’s fucking crammed back here, man, so if we can get going-“  
“Well, get used to it, because it’s about to get a lot more crammed because I’m pregnant.” Helena looked at Poison and smiled. “I was waiting for a better moment, but if one of us might die… I love you. Remember what I said earlier. Promise me.” She leaned in and kissed him deeply, stroking the sides of his face to silence from the back seat. “Right, let’s go. CalTech.” The car roared into life and they sped off down the highway.


	5. 5

“So… when did you realise you were… you know… carrying my child?” Poison cleared his throat, squeezing her hand in his.  
“Well, it might be yours.” Jet Star leaned forward and grinned. “It might be mine.”  
“Yes.” Helena looked at Poison and shrugged. “I find his unshowered musk irresistible.”  
“WHAT THE-“ Poison reared up in his seat. “WHEN-“  
“I’m kidding.” Jet Star and Helena burst out laughing and she briefly took her other hand off the wheel to high-five him. “Congratulations, buddy, although frankly it was bound to happen since the condom machine in the bathroom broke.”  
“We never used condoms anyway.” Helena smiled at Poison and squeezed his hand. “I always knew we were meant to be together forever.”  
He smiled back. “Me too.”  
Jet Star mimed vomiting again, and Poison shot him a glare. “So… how long have you known?”  
“A few days.” Helena smiled. “I did the math, based on my cycle and-“  
“Whoooooaaaa base rule, we do not discuss women’s times!” Fun Ghoul looked horrified. “No… no anything!”  
“What, I’m pregnant, it’s going to come up!” Helena rolled her eyes. “Plus, this is my car!”  
Poison let out a cry of exasperation. “So, you did the math and…”  
“And you probably knocked me up the first time we had sex. You know, the pity sex with your brother in the next bed.” Helena swerved around a burned out car.  
Jet Star roared with laughter. “You got pity sex?”  
“That wasn’t a dream?!” Kobra Kid looked freshly traumatised. “Oh God…”  
“That was pity sex?” Poison looked crushed. “I gave you two orgasms… I’ve never seen anyone come so hard…”  
“TMI! TMI!” yelled Fun Ghoul, clamping his hands over his ears.  
“And then I looked into your eyes, and I realised it could never just be pity sex.” Helena smiled softly at him.  
Jet Star feigned nonchalance, sneaking a look at Fun Ghoul, who was still trying not to vomit. "So Helena... what would you consider to be the difference between 'pity sex' and 'making love'?"  
"Well..." Helena slowly pulled over at the side of the road. "First I'd tell him I loved him, and then I'd kiss my way slooowwwwly down his neck, like this..." She leaned over and kissed Poison gently, moving down his neck and murmuring his name. "Then I'd move down, flicking his chest with my tongue, and then I'd wrap my arms around his back and pull him on top of me, kissing his forehead and telling him I loved him over and over as I felt him move inside of me, before I buried his face in his neck and breathed in his wonderful, wonderful scent." She smiled and kissed him again. "And I'd whisper his name in his ear every time I came." She paused. "That is, when I'm not screaming it at the top of my lungs."  
"What do you mean 'every'?" Jet Star's eyes bulged. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'EVERY'? MORE THAN ONCE?" Fun Ghoul finally retched and threw up out of the window. Jet Star ignored him. "HOW MANY TIMES? HOW?" He whipped out a notebook as Helena pulled back onto the road.  
“And now I’m going to have our child, and it is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.” Helena moved Gerard's hand onto her stomach, although it was still as flat as a pancake. “Based on my cycle and when I got pregnant… I’m about two months’ pregnant. I’m due some time in August.” She smiled. “Are you happy?”  
He grinned, lifted her hand and kissed it. “Happier than Kobra Kid is traumatised.”  
“I’m not sure that’s possible,” said Fun Ghoul, waving his hand in front of Kobra Kid’s blanked-out eyes.  
Helena smiled. “I love you, P.”  
He smiled back. “For eternity.”  
She squeezed his hand. “For eternity.”  
“Gross,” said Jet Star.  
“But you have to be prepared to leave me.”  
Poison almost dropped her hand. “Why?”  
“Because I’m the one he wants. I’m the one he wants to kill. I know too much. He will take me from you, P, and I need you to be ready to run. Without me.”  
“You’re carrying our child, Helena.” Poison stroked her hand. “I love you. I will always love you.”  
“If you love me, P, you will run and take our child with you.” She smiled sadly. “I only have to dodge him another seven months, maybe six if I can find a hospital with the right drugs to induce myself if it gets desperate. Hell, I will cut this baby out of me myself if I have to. Don’t let him take you too.” She glanced at the road ahead and then pulled him in and kissed him deeply. “Please, P, I’m who he wants. If you’re not with me, you’ll be safe.”  
“I vote we leave her,” said Fun Ghoul suddenly.  
“Don’t make me kill you,” hissed Poison, fingering his gun pointedly.  
“She’s putting all our lives at risk!” Fun Ghoul was turning red. “He will kill us all, and for what? We take her car and leave her! Not all of us are getting to fuck her every night!”  
“I am not FUCKING her!” screamed Poison.  
“Really, because we’ve all been hearing you through the walls since the day you met. All you do is fuck.” Fun Ghoul punched the back of Helena’s seat.  
“There is no fucking. I make love to her. I have always been making love to her, ever since the day we met, although I didn’t know it then.” Poison was getting angrier and angrier. “I do not “fuck” her.”  
Fun Ghoul snorted. “Yes you do. You fuck her. For all your eternity and poetry shit, all you are doing is fucking her and now you’ve made her goddamn pregnant.”  
"Wow." Jet Star leaned forward. "This is better than 'America's Top Model'."  
Poison gritted his teeth. "No. It is not 'fucking'. I love her. She loves me. I would do anything on this Earth to bring her happiness and pleasure, and to show her how much I adore her, and yes, that includes the physical pleasure I can give her with my-"  
"Dick?" snapped Fun Ghoul.  
Poison's eyes narrowed. "I was going to say 'body' but I guess that works too, if you're going to be an ass about it."  
"And he's damn good with his mouth and fingers too," snapped Helena.  
Jet Star mimed gagging and went back to studiously looking out of the window.  
"This is such BULLSHIT!" Fun Ghoul let out a cry of anger and threw out his hands, and one smacked the side of Helena’s face. She cried out and clutched her face, and before she could do anything Poison had straddled her, slammed on the brake so the car screeched to a stop, and he was out of the car and pulling Fun Ghoul from the back seat. “Look, Poison, it was an accident-“  
“YOU HIT MY PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND!” Poison threw him on the ground and started to punch him, Helena crying softly in the driver’s seat as a black eye bloomed on her face.  
Jet Star climbed out of the car, opened her door, and hugged her comfortingly. “Ssshhh, Helena, it’s OK, I would never, ever let Ghoul leave you behind.” He hugged her tighter. “I mean, you’re carrying the first Killjoy baby! That’s amazing!”  
Helena smiled, tears streaming down her face. “The first Killjoy baby.”  
“Yeah!” Jet Star pulled back and brushed her wet hair back off her face. “Wow. That’s going to be one hell of a shiner. You’ll look like a real badass.”  
She laughed. “I am a real badass.”  
“You are.” Jet Star glanced both ways and leaned in, lowering his voice. “If he wants you so bad, if you know things, if you have all these degrees and guns and they’re sending him after you - what are you?”  
Helena swallowed and then Poison was there, his knuckles bleeding a little. Jet Star looked up at him. “I think this is yours. Maybe you can give her some pity sex later. Don't forget to use that mouth and those magic fingers of yours.”  
Helena let out a burst of laughter and Poison crouched in front of her, kissing her wet cheeks and then carefully feeling around her eye. “That son of a bitch.” He glanced at Fun Ghoul, who was leaning against the car and retching. “I say we leave him here.”  
“No.” Helena looked into his eyes. “If you won’t leave me, you don’t leave him. We’re a team.”  
“You are such a good person.” Poison smiled and kissed her. “And whatever he says, we are making love. Every time.”  
“I know.” She smiled back and he kissed her again. “I love you, Mr Dead Pegasus.”  
“I love you too.” He kissed her, stood up, and gestured at the Trans Am. “EVERYONE BACK IN THE CAR!” He looked back at Helena. “You can’t drive like this. I’ll drive. You-“ he pointed at Fun Ghoul-“You ride in the trunk.”  
Fun Ghoul’s mouth dropped open. “The trunk?!”  
“Either that or the side of the fucking road.” Poison helped Helena into the front passenger seat as Fun Ghoul swore and climbed into the trunk. “You OK?”  
“I’m fine, P, but I would like to stop over.” She smiled weakly. “I have a bit of morning sickness and we’re already outside the search radius.”  
“OK, I’ll drive until I find a motel.” He smiled and kissed her forehead, then went around the trunk, slammed the lid shut on Fun Ghoul, and climbed into the driver seat.

They came across a motel about twenty miles later and Poison pulled into one of the parking slots. “I guess I better let that bastard out of the trunk.” He flipped the trunk release lever and Fun Ghoul fell out, swearing loudly. “I’m taking Helena to a room. The first person to comment about pity sex dies.” He scooped her out of the front seat and she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder.  
“You know, you smell good too, P,” said Helena, and he felt her smile against his shoulder and then her lips against his skin. “But not as good as you taste.”  
He laughed and shut the room door behind them, laying her down on the bed and shrugging off his jacket. “I can’t believe you’re still in the mood after all that.”  
“Pregnant women experience hormonal changes that can make them very sexually… charged.” She grinned at him, pulled him down by the front of his tank top and kissed him. "Take off my clothes, P. Make love to me.”  
He smiled, felt for the zipper at the back of her ballgown, and slowly slid it down, pulling gently on the skirt until it was loose in his hands. She smiled at him and he threw it across the room and climbed on top of her, moulding his body into hers and feeling her hands fumbling at the waistband of his jeans, unbuttoning them and peeling them off using her toes. She began to push and rub up against him, pulling off his tank top, and he started to breathe heavily, pulling off his boxers and her panties in one movement.  
“Oh P, oh P, oh P…” Helena started to rub harder and he wrapped his arms tightly around her back and felt her hands in his hair, her lips moving all over him and her tongue flicking against his skin. He began to squirm, afraid he was going to come before they really got started, but then her lips were firmly pressed against his and her legs were around his waist. “Oh P, oh my God, oh P, oh…” She smiled as he pressed his body tightly against hers. “I can feel your heart again, P.” She kissed him and reached down, starting to stroke him with her fingertips. “It’s racing.”  
He smiled and kissed her “I - JESUS - I feel yours too. It’s the most beautiful thing in the world.” He kissed the side of her neck, breathing hard. She started rubbing herself hard against him and he almost came before he somehow caught himself. Poison was panting hard, his whole body shaking. “Oh God, Helena, please, Helena, Helena, oh GOD, HELENA!”  
“Hey, your heart is racing even faster.” He felt her laugh against his lips, her legs trembling around his body as she panted hard. “Oh, oh, oh, oh Jesus, oh P…” She started to rub herself frantically against him, pressing harder against his body, and let out a loud cry. “P, P, P, P, oh God, OH GOD-“ She kissed him hard as she came, looking into his eyes as her body arched and her legs clenched around his waist, and then she was finally pulling him inside her, stroking the side of his face as he moaned her name.  
“Helena, Helena, Helena…” He felt her tighten her legs and pull her fully inside him. “Oh God, oh Jesus, oh, oh, oh…” He kissed her deeply and stroked the side of her face, her hands in his hair as she kissed him on the mouth and then bit him hard on the chest. He felt deeper waves of pleasure as she bit and sucked hard on his skin, her tongue flicking against him. “Helena, Helena, Helena…”  
“Oh P, you taste wonderful…” He started to move gently and she bit down harder, a moan caught against his skin. “Oh that feels so good, keep going, keep going…” She buried her face in the side of his neck and bit down hard, sucking hard on his skin, and he felt himself tremble. He wasn’t sure how LONG he’d be able to keep going, however hard he tried. “Oh Gerard…” she breathed. “I love you…”  
He smiled and kissed her hard on the lips, her tongue in his mouth as he moved gently inside her. “Oh God, Helena, I love you too…”  
She looked into his eyes and stroked his cheek. “For eternity.”  
He kissed her again. “For eternity.”  
She smiled and kept kissing him, pulling on his hair painfully and making him cry out. God, he loved it. She was still sucking hard on his shoulder, kissing each bite as she went, panting hard. “Keep going, keep going, keep going!” Her breath was coming fast and hard. “Oh God, P, keep going, keep going, oh God, keep going, keep going, harder, harder, HARDER!” Her legs were shaking. “Oh P, oh P, oh, oh, OH OH OH!” Helena came harder than she had ever come in her life, her whole body singing and her vision blacking out for a second. Her hips thrust upwards and pushed against him as she yanked his hair, pulling his face in to kiss him as he finally came, breathing her name into her mouth as he hugged her closely against him.  
“Oh Gerard, Gerard, Gerard…” Helena kissed him softly, stroking the side of his face. “For eternity.”


	6. 6

Helena woke to the feeling of Poison kissing her hair and forehead as she lay with her face pressed into the side of his neck, one arm stretched across his body and their legs tangled. She smiled against his skin and kissed him without opening her eyes, tightening her arm around him. “Good morning, P.”  
“I love waking up with you like this, Helena.” He smiled and kept kissing her, his arms wrapped around her.  
She laughed quietly and kissed his chest. “I bet you do.”  
He started to run his hand up and down her side and she shivered, waves of pleasure starting to beat through her body. “I have another poem for you, Helena.”  
Helena finally opened her eyes and looked up at his face. “Neruda?”  
Poison smiled. “Of course.” He stroked the side of her face and kissed her gently as she started to stroke his chest.  
“Is it going to make me cry like last time?”  
He kissed her cheeks and ran his hand through her hair, tightening his arm around her and pulling her body so close to him she could hardly breathe. “I don’t know.”  
She sighed and kissed him hard on the lips. “Is it going to make me want to have sex with you?”  
He gave her a wicked smile and kissed her deeply, leaning over her and pulling her face towards him to kiss her even harder. “Oh, almost definitely.”

“I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.  
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.  
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day  
I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps-“ He was suddenly aware of her hand on his, guiding it downwards to press against his fingers, guiding them with her own to stroke her. He smiled.  
“Hungry with desire for your sleek laugh,  
your hands the color of a sweet harvest,  
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,  
I crave your pale almond skin-“ Poison’s breath caught as he felt Helena start to stroke him, gently moving her hand as she kissed the side of his neck. He cleared his throat, stifling a moan as she started to rub herself against him and push against his fingers.  
“I - uh - I crave your pale almond skin  
I want to devour the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,  
the perfect nose of your proud face-“ Helena was panting hard and and starting to breathe his name under her breath, her legs shaking as they tightened around his hand and her body frantically starting to rub against him.  
Poison tried desperately to focus. “I crave the fleeting shade of your lashes,”  
and I pace around hungry with desire,  
hunting for you, for your hot heart,  
Like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue-“

“Oh P, oh P, oh P…” Helena was on the edge, her eyes half closed. “Oh P, stroke me harder, harder…”  
“Helena, oh God, you are so beautiful…” He wrapped his leg around her and she started to frantically rub against him, thrusting upwards as he stroked her.  
“Oh P, oh P, more, keep going, KEEP GOING, MORE, MORE-“ Helena came hard against him, her eyes squeezed shut and her teeth sinking deep into his shoulder so he cried out.   
“Oh Jesus, Helena, how are you so sexy?” Poison was almost mad with desire now, wanting to touch every inch of her.  
She looked up at him and smiled, her face flushed as she kissed him gently. “I guess your poem worked.”  
“Fuck the poem.” Poison started to kiss her chest and neck as she laughed and pulled him on top of her.  
“Do you like this?” She started to nibble on his ear and he made a strangled sound of frustration as she crossed her legs tightly.  
“Yes, Helena, oh Jesus, please…” He was kissing her harder and harder, his arms wrapped around her back.  
“Do you like this?” Her hand was on him now, stroking gently, and he nearly screamed.  
“Helena, Helena, damn it, HELENA-“ Poison cried out as he came, and she tutted, her hand still wrapped around him and moving steadily as she looked into his eyes.  
“I want more, P…” She started to kiss and nibble on his ear, whispering. “I want more…”  
He kissed her gently and looked into her eyes. “I will give you everything.”  
She smiled. “Then touch me, Gerard. Make love to me. Make me come. Make me come so hard I forget this world.”  
Poison smiled to himself and started to stroke and knead her, feeling her legs immediately clench. He moved his fingers faster and she pressed herself against them, panting hard. “P, oh P, oh, oh, this feels so good…” She uncrossed her legs and wrapped them around his hand, thrusting desperately against his fingers. “Oh God, P, there, there, THERE, THERE!” She pressed harder against his fingers, her legs shaking violently and her hands clenching against his back. “Oh P, OH RIGHT THERE, HARDER, HARDER, OH-“ Helena threw her head back against the pillow, screaming his name as she came, her whole body twisting and arching. “Oh God, P…” Her legs were suddenly around his waist and pulling him inside her and he let out a desperate cry of relief, followed by a gasp as fresh waves of pleasure started to pulse through him.  
“Helena, Helena, I love you so much, all I will ever want is you…” Poison kissed her hard on the lips and she opened her mouth and kissed him back, tightening her legs and pulling him a little further inside her. He gasped her name and felt her start to bite at his shoulders and chest again, and then his legs were trembling and he had to fight back the urge to come again. He started to move slowly and she cried out, her hands scraping his back.   
“Oh God, oh P, oh, keep going, keep going…” She started to kiss his face, pressing her chest against his and grabbing at his hair. Her legs tightened and she finally pulled him all the way inside her, laughing as he screamed her name. “Keep going, P, oh God, you feel so good, more, MORE…”  
Poison took several deep breaths, fighting off the growing and increasingly painful pressure to come, and started to move faster and harder, her lips pressing against his and her legs tightening and starting to shake. “Helena, Helena, I love you, I love you, I love you…”  
She pulled his face in close and kissed him deeply, looking almost sadly into his eyes. “For all eternity, Gerard.”  
He smiled and kissed her gently. “For all eternity.”  
Helena’s legs were still shaking and now her whole body began to convulse beneath him, thrusting upward as her nails scraped bloody ridges in his back. “Oh Gerard, oh, MORE, THERE, THERE, THERE-“ She screamed and her whole body arched as he finally came himself, collapsing on top of her on the bed as she panted beneath him. “Oh P, oh P, oh P…” Helena smiled, looked up into his face and kissed him. “You did it. You made me forget. You made me forget everything.” Tears started to stream down her face and he wiped them away with his thumbs and kissed her cheeks, unsure if a woman crying after sex was a good thing. “All I needed was to forget… just for a little while…” She smiled through the tears and started to kiss his face again. “I love you.”  
He smiled and kissed her cheeks again. “I love you too.” He reluctantly climbed off her and headed for the shower, fighting off a cold feeling that she knew something terrible he didn’t. He didn’t think he could ever bear to lose her. For all eternity, he reminded himself, turning on the water. For all eternity.  
“For all eternity.” Suddenly her arms were wrapped around his back and he nearly fell over from shock.  
“Helena?” He turned around and his eyes took in her snow-white body, the new slight curve of her belly, her red toenails, the long black hair now wet and clinging to her skin. The sight of the water running over her body made him instantly hard. “Are you… OK?”  
She answered by pushing him against the wall of the shower, jumping up and wrapping her legs around his waist, her arms around his shoulders as she kissed him.   
Jesus. This woman was insatiable. Poison began to kiss her back and wrapped his arms around her, hoisting her body higher against his and pushing inside her. She gasped and pressed her head against his neck, kissing the side of his face. “Gerard, Gerard, Gerard…” She began to cry again and he turned his face towards hers, kissing her cheeks. “I can’t lose you…”  
“You won’t.” He smiled at her. “For all eternity, remember?”  
“Take care of our baby girl.” She kissed him gently, gasping softly as he began to move up and down inside her, pushing his body against hers. “Oh, you know how to make me feel so good, Gerard…”  
“It’s Poison now,” he reminded her, savouring his own bursts of pleasure as he pushed deeper inside her. “And how do you know it’s a girl? Did you do a test? It’s a girl? Really?”  
“It’s a girl.” Helena smiled at him. “I just know.” She leaned in close and kissed his ear. “And you’re Gerard. You’ll always be Gerard. For all eternity.” She started to breathe hard and fast, grabbing at his wet hair. “Oh, that feels so good, harder, harder, HARDER…”  
It was a good thing she was so light or he wouldn’t be able to go any harder. He felt her legs tightening around his waist, her toes curling against his back. “MORE, Gerard, MORE, MORE, RIGHT THERE…” Her legs were shaking violently as she kissed him, her hands on the sides of his face. “Oh God, oh God, OH GOD-“  
She came hard, her legs contorting as she kissed him, and he followed close behind, the pleasure rushing through his body so powerful he almost dropped her. “Oh, Helena, I will love you forever…:  
She looked at him, took his hand and placed it on her stomach, kissing him softly as the water ran over them. “For all eternity.”

Poison and Helena walked outside together holding hands when it was time to go, a little late because Poison had pulled the zipper on her gown himself and ended up kissing his way up her back and neck for twenty minutes. Helena went to fiddle under the hood of the Trans Am and Fun Ghoul looked at Poison, one eyebrow raised on a face covered in bruises. “You had sex this morning, didn’t you?”  
Poison smiled innocently but held up three fingers.   
Jet Star shook his head. “Lucky bastard.”  
Poison grinned. “It’s a girl.”  
Fun Ghoul looked confused. “What is?”  
“The baby. It’s a girl.” Poison smiled so hard he thought his face would break in half. “She’s having a baby girl.”  
“RIGHT!” Helena slammed the hood of the car and buckled her last gun around her waist. “All of you bitches in the car, one hour left to CalTech to load up my lab!” She climbed into the driver seat and started the engine.  
Jet Star grabbed Poison’s shoulder as he headed for the car. “Poison… what IS she?”  
Poison shook his head. “I have no idea.”


	7. 7

“P, why are all the guys in the back seat crammed around one Neruda book?” Helena glanced in the rearview mirror as she negotiated the carnage around CalTech. At least half the buildings were completely razed, human-shaped scorch ghosts on remaining walls and burned out cars blocking whole streets. “I mean, it’s almost like someone told them something…”  
“I just lent it to them,” said Poison, looking out the window and avoiding eye contact. “They were getting bored.” He frowned. “Why are we stopping at a costume store?”  
“Because they have cameras and if you’re seen with me at CalTech your faces are as doomed as mine.” She looked sadly at him and put the car in park. “Just remember I love you.” She kissed him and before he could say anything she was walking towards the deserted store.  
“How’s she going to- Poison, did your girlfriend just kick in a door?” Fun Ghoul was staring after Helena with a new kind of respect.  
“And she seemed like such a nice girl when I found her,” said Poison, rolling his eyes and slamming his car door behind him.  
“She found you,” pointed out Jet Star. “She told me you were dead in the middle of the road and she nearly ran over you.”  
“And she has a huge spider decal on the hood of her car and two motorcycle helmets in the trunk,” said Ghoul. “And a night vision sniper rifle.”  
“And we’ve had to rob three clothes stores in the past month because she rips them off you at the seams rather than letting you get undressed each night,” added Kobra Kid.  
Poison shifted as he sat on the hood of the car. God, he was getting hot for Helena right now.  
“Right, who wants to be Frankenstein?” asked Helena, holding up a mask. Fun Ghoul’s mouth fell open and he thrust his hand in the air, and Helena laughed and threw it to him. “Kid, Jet Star, each of you get a motorcycle helmet. They’re in the trunk. P, I got you this.”  
Poison looked at the yellow eyemask with distrust. “It looks like something you’d wear at a beauty salon. Why does it have blue spots?”  
“Because those colours will look beautiful with your hair,” Helena smiled, leaned in and kissed him, “and because I could never cover up all of that beautiful face.” She smiled and ran her thumb slowly over his lower lip and Poison almost came in his jeans.  
Jet Star mimed gagging and Helena gave him a dirty look. “It’s ten blocks to CalTech. Put your masks on now. You don’t want them catching you anywhere NEAR me on camera, let alone in the same car. Jet Star, Kobra Kid, get your helmets out of the trunk. She hit the trunk release lever. “When we get there, we have a maximum of ten minutes to load the car once I scan my eye.”  
Poison stared at her. “Scan your eye?!”  
“Yes, scan my eye. I swipe my card 14 times to get to the secure area. We don’t have time to run back and forth. Everyone will have to pitch in carrying at least 50 pounds of electronic equipment if we’re going to get everything out in one go.”  
Jet Star’s eyes bulged. “50 pounds?!”  
“62 pounds,” interrupted Poison. “Helena, I love you, but you’re already carrying something important. I don’t want you to hurt the baby.”  
“OK, I’ll just carry the satellite dish.” Helena pulled a swipe card with her photo and the name “Senior Professor H. Snowden” out of her pocket. “This is the car parking pass. CalTech has been a wasteland since the bomb hit. I’m going to park on the sidewalk outside the doors. Once I park, everyone follow me. No stragglers. On the way out, I WILL floor it and smash through the parking barriers. We have to get as far away as possible as quickly as possible using back roads only because once they get the alert I’m at my office, they’ll come for me. If we see a roadblock ahead, I WILL floor it and smash through the road block. We alternate drivers to keep driving as far as possible. Poison…” She looked at him and smiled sadly. “You may have to go and let them have me.”  
“Helena, I will never let them have you.” Poison gripped her fingers tightly. “If it comes to it, the others can go and I’ll stay with you.”  
“No, you will go too. I won’t let them hurt you, Poison.” She pulled him in and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his back. “If something happens and I don’t get a chance… I love you. I love you so much.”   
“Everyone in the car and give them some privacy,” muttered Jet Star.  
Helena stroked the side of Poison’s face. “You have made the past month the best month of my life, and if this is the end…” She swallowed and he kissed her cheeks. “If this is all the time we get, well, nothing could ever have been enough.” She smiled. “I have never loved anyone as much as I love you. For all your poetry, nothing could possibly express how I feel about you, although Neruda gave it a damn good shot.” She pulled him in and kissed him hard.  
Poison swallowed back unexpected tears. “I couldn’t bear to lose you, Helena.”  
She smiled sadly and kissed him gently. “For all eternity.”  
He smiled back and stroked her face. “For all eternity.”  
Helena sniffed and wiped her eyes and kissed Poison again, reluctantly let him go, and climbed into the car. “We pack this car with equipment and the rest of you squash around it. Everyone in? Great.” Helena started the car and roared out of the parking lot.

CalTech was as broken down as Helena had told them. There was graffiti everywhere and most of the doors were hanging off their hinges. She pulled around the side of the main building and to a small building at the rear, stopping outside a small door that could have been to a maintenance area if there hadn’t been three card readers next to it.  
Helena turned and looked at them, pulling out a bright red card with no photograph on it, just three electronic chips and a row of magnetic strips. “Ready?”  
Poison looked at her. “What the HELL are you?!”  
“I’ll take that as a yes.” Helena got out of the car and started swiping her card through the readers, the door letting out a high-pitched sound as soon as she opened it. “GO!”  
Only Kobra Kid hesitated and had to be shoved through the door by Poison as he ran after Helena, who was striding purposefully ahead through a maze of plain, nondescript corridors. Every twenty seconds or so she had to swipe a new card until they were outside a room with no card reader, but a small electronic box. She stopped, took a deep breath, and took a deep breath. “Let’s do this.”   
She held her face up to the reader and it beeped, read out “Helena Snowden: Approved” and the door popped open. “GO GO GO, STRIP EVERYTHING YOU CAN!”  
Everyone raced around, pulling out electronic equipment and computer hard drives, disconnecting cables and piling up everything they could get as Helena climbed a ladder to a small roof hatch and popped it open, working to detach a small satellite dish. “Got it!” She climbed back down with the dish under her arm, wrapping metres of cable around her arm. “Seven minutes down, we good to go?”  
Everyone nodded, arms stretched around huge piles of equipment and shaking with the effort, and they raced out of the building and back to the car, shoving equipment into the trunk and footwells and back seat, squeezing around it and piling it on their laps.  
“Helena, let me drive, I know all the remote ways out of here.” Poison jumped into the driver seat and Helena took the passenger side, slamming the door shut as Poison floored it, headed out towards the San Bernardino mountains and all the remote firebreaks and logging roads. “Oh shit!” Up ahead was a drac with a huge gun who took careful aim through the windshield. “Helena, grab your ankles!”  
Everyone hit the floor as the windscreen and back window exploded, and then the drac was bouncing off the hood and over the top of the car, landing with a thud on the road behind them. Helena pulled the gun from her waist and immediately picked off six more before Poison could even blink.  
“Should we be hurt he only told her to duck?” said Fun Ghoul.  
“He was deliberately aiming at me,” said Helena quietly. “You should leave me.”  
“Bullshit,” said Jet Star. “You’re one of us. You and the Killjoy baby are coming with us.”  
“Fun Ghoul can fix the car up,” said Kobra Kid. “That boy loves cars.”  
Fun Ghoul grinned. “I do.”  
As soon as they cleared the urban area Poison swerved up a remote winding road into the San Bernardino mountains. “That your sniper rifle in the trunk, my love?”  
Helena grinned. “Crack shot.”  
“Good, because I’m heading for high ground in case we need to defend ourselves.” Poison focused on the narrow winding road ahead, his foot still to the floor and the V8 roaring at the effort.  
Jet Star leaned forward. “Excuse me, Helena, but… what ARE you?”  
“When she’s ready to tell us, she will.” Poison smiled at her. “You ought to get some sleep, Helena. You might have to protect us tonight with that rifle of yours.”  
Jet Star finally pulled off his helmet. “I can’t believe you have your pregnant girlfriend defending YOU, Poison.”  
The others burst out laughing and removed their masks as Poison turned bright red. Helena laughed quietly, took his hand and kissed it gently. “Where are we headed?”   
“Eventually, the Mojave Desert. There’s a natural cave network there at a high elevation so she can get the high ground she needs for her sniper rifle and satellite set-up, and we can get the shelter we need. It was a mine until recently, so she ought to be able to find the electrical hook-up she needs without having to run the generator. Fun Ghoul will have to make a trip to one of the local towns to fix the car up and load it up with food and water, and we need to figure out somewhere we can get the vitamins and supplies she needs to have our baby.” Poison smiled. “You’re the MD, Helena. When do we get to see her?”  
“Well, I’m very thin because of ballet, so… probably about a month, at least through clothes.” She grinned. “Although I know YOU noticed a little curve in the shower this morning.”  
Jet Star clamped his hands over his ears. “TMI! TMI!”  
Poison laughed. “Anyway, there’s lots of different tunnels and caverns, and it’s near Route 66 so we can get out fast, and some caverns are big enough even to hide the car. I went there with Mikey when I was a little kid, and it’s pretty cool.”  
Kobra Kid jerked. “You mean Kobra!”  
“Dude, I already told her my name, you’re my brother, and you’re the uncle of our child. I think it’s real name time, at least in private.” Poison rolled his eyes.  
“You told her your name?!” Kobra was enraged.  
“Yes, I told her my name. We know her name, it’s only fair.” Poison smiled at Helena. “And I love her. And baby girl Snowden.”  
“You were having sex, weren’t you? You were having sex and you blurted out your name!”  
“That’s irrelevant,” snapped Poison, turning red.  
“How far is it?” asked Ghoul, trying to break the subject.  
“About 250 miles. We’re going to have to find somewhere for gas as soon as it’s safe to hit civilisation again.” Poison silently thanked God for Fun Ghoul.  
“I’m Frank, by the way,” said Fun Ghoul. “I’ve been Poison’s best friend for years.”  
Jet Star leaned around a large piece of electronics. “Ray.”  
Kobra threw his hands up. “Well, why don’t we just sign up as BLI corporate drones right now?”  
“Because it’s her they want, and she trusted me. She trusted us,”replied Poison. “She’s their Number 1 most wanted, and she was running, and when she saw me dead in the road she still stopped and she gave me CPR, and then she made sure I got home. She trusted us enough to live with us, and she trusts us enough to help rig up whatever electronic wonder it is she’s going to build for us. Most of all, she trusts us enough to have my baby girl.” He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, stroking the side of her face, and Jet Star made loud gagging sounds. “She’s one of us.”  
Ghoul nodded. “She is.”  
Poison smiled and settled back behind the wheel.

It had been dark for hours by the time Poison finally pulled into one of the larger caverns, and Helena was curled up sleeping in the passenger seat. “We can unload the equipment tomorrow,” he whispered. “Until then, find yourself an empty side cavern to sleep in.”  
“Pick one as far away from them as you can unless you want to lie awake listening to her screaming for God,” hissed Jet Star, easing quietly out of the car.  
Poison gave him a dirty look, lifted Helena gently out of the car and into his arms, and kissed her forehead. She smiled in her sleep and snuggled in closer to him.  
“You’re a lucky bastard, Poison,” whispered Jet Star. “She adores you.”  
He smiled and stroked her hair. “I know.”


	8. 8

“So, I guess you want to know why they keep chasing me.” Helena was lying on her back in the cave with Poison’s blue jacket folded up beneath her head, her ballgown flared out around her and her hands on her stomach.  
He rolled onto his side and looked at her. “I figured you’d tell me when you were ready.”  
“I love you for it.” She took his hand, raised it to hers and kissed it.  
“I love you too.” He started to kiss up and down her neck.  
“Mmmmmm, P, stop…” Helena rolled her eyes at him. “You said you’d let me finish…”   
He grinned wickedly and slid the zip down on her ballgown. “I will.”  
Jet Star’s voice echoed around the caves. “EVERYONE COVER YOUR EARS UNLESS YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO POISON GET LAID!”  
They both burst out laughing and Helena unzipped his jeans with one hand, slipping the other inside. “Since when did you stop wearing underwear?”  
He kissed her again, pulling her ballgown down and pushing it off with his foot. “Since you threw that last pair into a ceiling fan.” He sighed as she ripped off his last tank top. He’d have to go shopping again. Then again, he was one of the few men who liked shopping.  
“Oh yeah…” Helena laughed and kissed him harder, her hands in his hair as he pulled off his jeans and her panties in one fluid movement. “Hey, smooth…”  
“I’ve had practice. I met a great girl on the road outside Amboy.” Poison kissed her softly and wrapped his arms around her, pulling himself on top of her as she stroked his face.  
“I love you.” Helena gasped as he started to touch her, his other hand under her back and pushing her hips upwards. “Oh…” She started pressing against his fingers. “Oh, oh P, oh God…”  
He kept kissing and touching her, feeling the first waves of pleasure himself, and then her fingernails raked hard up his back and he whispered her name. “Helena, Helena, Helena… I love it so much when you do that…”  
“I know you do.” She smiled against his mouth and then felt him push a finger inside her. “OH, OH MY GOD, MORE, MORE…”  
“Of course.” Poison smiled as he kissed her, pressing on her back as he pushed another finger inside her and felt her start to tremble. He felt her start to bite at his shoulder and gasped. “Helena, Jesus Helena, I love you…”  
Helena’s legs were clamped tightly around his hand. “Faster, P, faster, faster, FASTER, OH, FASTER…” She was kissing up and down his neck  
Poison silently shook his head. Thank God for all those guitar lessons. He started to touch her harder and faster. “Oh Helena, Helena…” He felt her sink her teeth into his chest, kissing the bite mark gently. “HELENA, JESUS, THAT’S SO GOOD…”  
“Oh, oh, OH-“ Helena’s legs were shaking hard. “OH, OH P, OH, OH, OH-“ Her eyes rolled back in her head and she screamed, pushing up against him and kissing him hard. “OH GOD, OH MY GOD…” She slowly relaxed, panting hard and stroking the side of his face. “Oh, that was fantastic-“ She gasped again as he wrapped his arms around her and finally pushed himself inside of her. “Oh P…” She kissed him gently as he stroked her hair. “P, I love you…”  
“Helena, Helena, Helena…” He kept kissing her and pressed himself tightly against her body. “Helena, oh Christ, Helena-“ She angled her hips upwards and started to rub hard against him. “ Oh my God, oh my God, OH MY GOD…”  
“P, P, P…” Helena was panting hard again, moving faster and faster. She felt him start to move gently and cried out. “Oh, you always know how to make me feel so GOOD!”  
Poison smiled “So do you…” Helena was kissing him softly again and again, clawing across his back. She sunk her teeth into his lower lip and he yelped in surprise. “JESUS, Helena…”  
“Faster, faster, faster, faster…” Helena kept rubbing hard against him, her body trembling. “Faster, faster, faster, faster, FASTER, OH GOD-“ She came fast and hard, throwing back her head and clamping her legs together. “Don’t stop, Poison, please don’t stop, I want more…”  
Poison stared at her. Ever since she became pregnant, Helena had become even more insatiable. He kept moving, faster and harder, and started to knead her with his fingers.   
She gasped, rubbing up against him and kissing him hard, tangling her hands in his hair and pulling his face painfully towards hers. “Oh P, oh P, touch me, TOUCH ME HARDER!” She pushed herself hard against his fingers and trembled, moaning loudly, screaming as he pushed her lower back upwards. She bit his chest hard, drawing blood, and he kissed her ear, panting her name. She kissed the bite mark gently and stroked his face, her hands back in his hair as she kissed him hard. She was shaking harder, pushing upwards and breathing hard. “MORE, MORE, MORE, OH P, OH MORE, MORE-“ She screamed his name again and shook violently, twisting and contorting beneath him and raking her fingernails the length of his back.  
“Helena, Helena, HELENA-“ Poison came hard, kissing Helena’s face, and rolled off beside her reluctantly, stifling a laugh as she high-fived him. “God, I love you, Helena.”  
“I love you too, Mr Dead Pegasus.” She rolled onto her side and rested her head on his shoulder, draping her arm across his chest. She lifted her head and looked at him seriously. “For all eternity, Gerard.  
He smiled and kissed her hair as she lay her head back down. “For all eternity.”  
She snuggled up against him. “I love to listen to your heart, P.”  
He put his arm around her and pulled her close. “Remember Neruda, Helena? It’s yours.” He started to stroke her hair. “Your hand upon my chest is mine…”  
She smiled. “And your eyes close with my dreams.”  
They lay quietly for a while, her head on his shoulder and his arm around her back.  
“So…” Helena sighed. “Why they’re chasing me. I have to start about twenty years ago, so it might get long.”  
“Don’t worry.” He looked at her. “You have a lifetime.”  
She smiled back and looked up at him. “I thought I had for all eternity.”  
“I stand corrected.” Poison leaned down and kissed her, her hand on the side of his face.  
Helena laughed and started to trace patterns on his chest with her finger, kissing his neck. “Well, I was born in Ireland.”  
“Ireland?!” Poison’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “You don’t have an accent!”  
“That’s because I moved to New York City when I was ten, to attend Juilliard for ballet. I got my GED while I lived with the professor who sponsored me until I graduated when I was fourteen, when I got legally emancipated in California. Then, I kind of did a bit of everything, because I wanted - no, NEEDED - to know everything. I already had my GED from when I was twelve, and I started my first degree, an MD at UC Berkeley, right after moving to California. I got my MD when I was eighteen, then moved to CalTech to do a doctorate in theoretical physics. I stayed at CalTech and did another doctorate in electrical engineering, and I just kept collecting them in engineering and computer science until I became a professor when I was twenty-nine.” She saw the look on Poison’s face and smiled. “I know, I know…”  
Poison shook his head and sat up. “I’ve been sleeping with a genius…”  
“Please.” Helena pulled him in and kissed him. “Let me finish.”  
He raised an eyebrow.. “Don’t I always?”  
“And that’s why the genius is still sleeping with you.” She laughed. “Also, you just managed to make said genius come three times…”  
Poison grinned and did a small bow.  
Helena cleared her throat. “Anyway, around then… around then BLI were getting really big. Everyone loved them. People voted their CEO in as President. I felt… bad. Something was wrong. The bombs came. Everyone still loved BLI as they vowed to defend Americans against the terrorist threat that had somehow planted nuclear weapons in its urban centres. They moved into all the huge BLI compounds that sprang up, went to the compound schools and universities, read their publications. CalTech was still functioning then, and BLI had an installation there. I transferred into the BLI unit and they were so happy to have me as a research fellow that they didn’t even check my security papers were real. I hacked their servers and downloaded everything, and then I wrote a computer virus that continuously shifts and mutates and unleashed it on their systems. They still haven’t recovered.” Helena grinned. “And then I took the stuff from the databases, all the dirt and all the awful truths, and I published it. I was the one who kitted out Dr D. I was the one who formulated the real underground.” She sighed. “I’ve been running ever since, although I guess you could say that I’m following in my family’s footsteps.”  
Poison rolled onto his back, slowly processing everything, and then he propped himself up on his elbow and looked at her. “Family footsteps? I thought you were Irish.”  
“I grew up with a rebel grandfather who hated the British.” She grinned up at him. “I could hit a target at 300 yards before I was six years old.”  
“That’s… God, that’s hot.” Poison leaned down and kissed her and she smiled, her hand on the side of his face. “I’m almost afraid to do what I have to do next.”  
“What?”Helena bolted upright, training yet another red gun on him. “Are you BLI?”  
“Whoa, whoa, whoa…” Poison held up his hands. “One, no, I am not BLI, and two, where the hell were you keeping that?!”  
“Then what’s the plan?” Helena didn’t drop the gun. “Did they send you?”  
“No, I…” He reached cautiously into the folded blanket by the entrance of the cavern and pulled out a diamond and sapphire ring, not taking his eyes off the gun. “I was just going to ask you to marry me, but now I’m scared to see what Helena Way might turn into-“  
“YES!” Helena dropped the gun and jumped on him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and kissing him hard. “Oh my GOD, yes!”  
“EVERYONE COVER YOUR EARS!” Jet Star’s voice echoed around the caves again. “POISON’S ABOUT TO GET LAID AGAIN!”


	9. 9

Helena stretched her long, elegant leg up over her head and span slowly on the spot, her feet tied with ribbons into the black ballet shoes Poison had brought back for her from a raid and her body clad in a black leotard. He grinned to himself as he sat and watched her spin and leap, a huge smile on her face and her arms out at her sides. That had got him just as much enthusiastic lovemaking as the $50,000 antique ring that was now sparkling on her left ring finger. He’d also brought her a dark red lipstick and more hairpins and she was wearing both, her hair pinned high in a bun. She was also wearing a sapphire and diamond necklace he’d grabbed when he got the ring. After that, he hadn’t been able to walk straight for a week.  
“Damn, she’s good.” Jet Star sat down next to him, sipping a beer.  
Poison smiled. “First in her class from Juilliard.”  
“I- whoa.” Jet Star’s eyes widened as she slowly arched backwards so her palms were flat on the ground. “I didn’t even know that was possible!”  
“Neither did I.” At least until she first invaded his bed, thought Poison smugly as she went into a series of back flips and somersaults, elegant limbs in perfect poise. At five months her pregnancy was much more obvious, a rapidly growing baby bump stretching out her leotard and her chest noticeably larger. Poison had taken to sleeping with her hand in his and resting on her belly, waiting excitedly for the first kick.  
Jet Star took another sip. “The Ghoul back yet?”  
“Nope.” Poison shook his head. “If he was, don’t you think I’d be more excited?” Fun Ghoul had gone to raid a hospital, stealing all the drugs he could find and an ultrasound machine. Helena had successfully hooked onto the cave’s electrical supply and strung lengths of fairy lights in the caverns, providing lighting, while Kobra Kid had kitted out every room with bedding. For his part, Poison had found three sets of what he called “shut the fuck up” noise cancelling headphones, mostly so he and Helena could make love as loudly as they wanted and as often as they wanted without Jet Star cursing them.  
“That girl is going to eat you alive,” said Jet Star, gesturing at the fresh bite marks. “You like her doing that? Doesn’t it hurt?”  
“Hurts like hell,” grinned Poison. “You should try it.”  
“With who? Fun Ghoul?” Jet Star shook his head. “You found the only hot girl left in the world and you somehow did it when you were dead, you lucky bastard.”  
“I did.” Poison looked at Helena and smiled, watching her leaping and spinning. “And she’s a genius.” Three months in, her big electrical project was well underway, and in the meantime she had hooked up the satellite dish to a television so they could watch Mexican telenovelas and Canadian programming.  
“Lucky bastard.” Jet Star chugged the last of his beer and cracked open another. “When’s the wedding?”  
“Once she has the dress.” Kobra Kid had gotten ordained on the internet as a drunken gesture while in high school, so they were just waiting for it to be safe for Fun Ghoul to drive Helena overnight to Seattle so she could pick out a nice dress and veil without leading BLI back to the cave systems. Fun Ghoul would take any excuse to drive the Trans Am. “You’d think someone as badass as her wouldn’t care, but…” He shrugged. “Maybe it’s a girl thing.”  
“Poison.” Jet Star burst out laughing. “That is NOT your regular girl.”  
He grinned as he watched her. “Oh, I know.”  
“Thank you, P, thank you, thank you, I love having ballet shoes again!” Helena did a forward somersault and a series of flips and spins. She started to pirouette again, her arms raised above her head, and smiled at him. “I love you.”  
Poison smiled back. “I love you too.”  
Jet Star leaned over and talked under his breath. “How many times did those shoes get you laid?”  
Poison held up six fingers and Jet Star shook his head. “Lucky bastard.”  
Suddenly the Trans Am pulled up the rough side road and into the cavern entrance, and Helena immediately abandoned dancing and sprinted after it. “Did you get a machine? Did you find one?”  
Fun Ghoul climbed out of the car, grinning so hard his face ached. “I got a machine.” He paused. “Also a couple gowns so you don’t have to strip completely.”  
“Eh.” Helena shrugged. “I strip all the time.”  
Poison grinned. “She does.”  
Jet Star rolled his eyes as Helena ran into the cave with one of the gowns and Fun Ghoul started to unload the ultrasound equipment and wheel it after her. Poison was on his feet and running after Helena a second later, helping her out of the leotard and slowly stroking his finger down her spine, laughing as she shivered with pleasure and then pulling the gown over her shoulders. He kissed the back of her neck and she breathed his name, smiling as he took her hand and walked to to where Fun Ghoul had set up the machine. “Are you ready?” Helena squeezed Poison’s hand. “Gerard?”  
“Are you kidding? I’ve been ready for three months.” He kissed her and helped her up on the table. “OK, tell me how this thing works.” He poked at the machine.  
“Gerard, give me the damn probe and rub gel on my belly.” Helena pressed a series of buttons and the screen came to life. “You guys, go away. I’ll print a picture, but this is our time.”  
Fun Ghoul looked hurt. “But-“  
“She’s right. This is their time.” Jet Star pulled Fun Ghoul away. “Come on, let’s go have a beer.”  
Helena took a deep breath. “Ready?”  
Poison squeezed her hand. “Ready.”  
Helena pressed the probe against her belly, moving it around on the gel.  
“Oh, that’s beautiful!” Poison leaned in closer. “Helena, that’s amazing!”  
She gave him a look and kept moving the probe. “That’s my small intestine.”  
He went bright red. “Oh.”  
She pressed the probe harder and broke into a smile as an echoing beat filled the caves. “That’s our baby.”  
Poison stared, silently raising her hand to kiss it. “That’s our baby.”  
She was still smiling as her eyes started to tear up. “Well, it’s definitely a girl… good, strong heartbeat… crap, her head is in the 98th centile, pushing that out is going to be a BITCH…” She looked up at him. “Do you see her moving, Gerard? She’s moving her arms and legs.”  
“Poison,” he reminded her gently.  
She shook her head and kissed his hand. “For this you’re Gerard.”  
He broke into a smile, leaned down and kissed her. “You’re right.”  
“I love you.” She kissed him, letting go of his hand for a minute to stroke the side of his face. “I will always love you.”  
He smiled. “For all eternity?”  
She looked into his eyes and kissed him again, “For all eternity.”  
“Wow.” Poison pointed at the screen. “She definitely takes after her mother. She’s doing somersaults in there. You don’t feel that?”  
Helena laughed. “I just feel little flutters right now.” She hit a button on the machine and it spat out five pictures. “You think the others want pictures too?”  
Poison grinned. “Definitely. It’s like she’s everyone’s baby.”  
She smiled and hit the button again, spitting out more pictures. “She’s the Killjoy baby.”  
He kissed her. “You’ve been spending too much time with Jet Star.”  
“Eh, maybe.” She laughed again. “I love you. Always remember that, Gerard. Promise me.”  
“Helena-“  
“Promise me.” She was staring into his eyes. “Promise me you will always remember that.”  
He leaned in and kissed her. “I will always remember that you love me.” He smiled and kissed her again. “And I will always love you.”  
Helena was still looking at him. “Promise me you’ll take care of our girl.”  
Poison squeezed her hand. “Helena, you don’t need to-“  
“Gerard, we both know what’s going to happen.” Tears were running down her face and he wiped them away. “Take care of our girl. Promise me.”  
“I promise to take care of our girl.” He leaned in and kissed her. “I love you.”  
“I love you too.” Helena kissed him and looked back at the screen, the beat of the baby’s heart still echoing through the caves. “I think I could watch this forever.”  
Poison kissed her hand. “Me too.”


	10. 10

“Gerard, Gerard, wake up!” Helena was sitting up, shaking his shoulder. “Wake up!”  
Gerard groaned and rolled over. “Helena, we already did it three times tonight, I’m exhausted…” He yawned and pulled the blankets up over his shoulder. “Wait until the morning…”  
“No, I feel the baby moving!” She flipped on the lights and he swore and pulled the blankets over his head. “The baby’s moving!”  
“Flutters? I know.” He yawned again, pushed the blankets down, and finally opened his eyes. “You’ve been feeling flutters for months.”  
Helena rolled her eyes, one hand on her stomach. At seven months, she was already so large that Jet Star made jokes about her being as wide as she was tall. At least, until she punched him in the nose. “God, you’re an asshole at 3am.” She grabbed his hand and held it to her belly.  
He bolted upright, his eyes wide. “Is that a kick?”  
“That’s a kick!” Helena was grinning so wide her face looked like it was going to split in half. “You feel her?”  
“Are you kidding? She could be a kicker for the Patriots.” Gerard leaned in and kissed Helena, stroking her hair, and then leaned down and kissed her stomach.  
“WHOA!” Helena laughed. “That was a big one!”  
He smiled and kissed her stomach again. “She knows her daddy is here.”  
“She does.” Helena kissed him and lay back down, both hands on her belly. “And she knows there’s only six weeks until she comes out to say hi… thank God.” Helena rolled her eyes. She was getting frustrated trying to finish her electrical project when she had to work around her pregnancy. She had already finished hooking up a device where they could broadcast messages across the entire world, as well as one that blocked all BLI broadcasts. The week before, she had finally finished a blocker that prevented BLI from detecting the source of any of these broadcasts. Soon, they would be able to detect approaching ground and air vehicles from 50 miles away, giving Helena time to get to her sniper rifle and Kobra time to arm the SAM units he and Jet Star had raided from the old Twentynine Palms US Marine base. Ghoul had mounted the sniper rifle on an increasingly tall pile of sandbags, meaning Helena could still aim and fire it despite her growing belly. Every two weeks, they shut down all of their equipment for five minutes except for an enormous device that sent out a huge electromagnetic pulse, knocking out every electric device in the southwest United States. The whole system was also fully automated, so if they had to abandon the caves in a hurry it would carry on functioning without them.  
“You better hurry on up with that dress.” Gerard kissed her forehead. “I’m Catholic. No babies outside of marriage.”  
“I think this might count as a baby outside of marriage.” She laughed. “And Ghoul is getting back from Seattle soon, Mr Dead Pegasus. Be patient.”  
“Helena, you’re about to burst.” Gerard lay down beside her and started to stroke her hair. “Impatience is no longer the main problem here.”  
Gerard had refused to let Helena travel all the way to Seattle along bumpy back roads so late in her pregnancy, but so far Ghoul had been gone for five days. He was refusing to worry so early, but he had expected him back at least two days ago, given that Ghoul drove that Trans Am as if his pants were on fire.  
“I know you’re worrying about Ghoul, Gerard,” said Helena quietly. “He had to take all the back roads, so he probably got held up by changing broken wheels and replacing components like wishbones. That’s why he loaded up with spares before he left.”  
“I know.” He kissed her hand. “It’s just been so long…”  
“It’s been five days and he had to take all logging roads. It’s rained nonstop, so the car is probably in mud up to the axles, and he’s probably had to stop to dig out a few times.” Helena squeezed his hand.   
“Probably, probably, probably.” Gerard did not like having to finally admit he was worried. “Helena-“  
“He took the phone I built him, and the emergency locator beacon was active. He’ll be OK.” Helena kissed him and stroked the side of his face. “If something had happened to the Trans Am, we’d know. If something had happened to him, we’d know. Most of all, I’m not with him. BLI have no reason to go after him. As far as they’re concerned, he’s just one more weirdo. She paused. “One more cross-dressing weirdo who likes to wear wedding dresses.”  
“I guess.” Gerard sounded distracted.  
Helena kissed the side of his face.“I care about him too, G. I gave him everything he needed to be safe.”  
“No one cares about Ghoul as much as me. We’ve been best friends for decades.” Gerard stared up at the roof of the cave.   
“I’m not saying I care as much as you, but I care.” Helena looked at him. “He wanted to go. If there was any serious danger, G, I would not have let him go. You know that.”  
Gerard smiled at her. “I do know.” He laughed. “Besides, no way you’d give up a future babysitter.”  
She smiled back and kissed him. “I think Ghoul will be the best babysitter.”  
“Me too.” Gerard squeezed her hand. “All set for the hideous bloody miracle of birth?”  
Helena burst out laughing. “You’re such a natural cheerleader, G.”  
He shrugged. “I try.”  
“Jet Star already got me all the drugs I need in case of premature labour, and for the birth, so we’re ready for all the important stuff.” Helena smiled at him. “Killjoy Baby is all set.”  
“Remind me to punch Jet Star again for giving her that name.” Gerard rolled his eyes.  
“I will.” Helena was falling back asleep again, one hand resting on her belly. “Gerard, punch Jet Star for naming her Killjoy Baby.”  
“Good job.” Gerard smiled and kissed her forehead, putting his hand on her stomach and interlocking his fingers with hers. “I love you, Helena.”  
“Mmmm, I love you too.” Helena’s eyes were closed. “For all eternity.”  
Gerard closed his eyes and stroked her hand with his thumb, feeling the baby kick under his hand. “For all eternity.”


	11. 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Chantal.

“God, I am so hot.” Helena was sitting miserably in her bra and panties next to a huge fan she had rigged up, her face red and sweaty. She had her hair piled up high on her head with a long lace cathedral veil and white roses pinned into the back, matching the white rose and blue iris bouquet she was currently fanning herself with. “Gerard, it’s been nine months. Why won’t she come out?”  
“Maybe because she knows it’s Mummy and Daddy’s wedding today and it would be a really bad time?” Gerard raised an eyebrow at her as he finished tying his bow tie. Helena had done another ultrasound the day before and it showed the baby’s head fully engaged and still in the 98th centile, and she was extremely uncomfortable. The baby had been keeping her awake all night for weeks kicking and doing somersaults, and she had been keeping him awake all night with sexual demands. Helena had become increasingly frightening in her last month of pregnancy, alternating between angry and sexually insatiable. He was constantly unsure whether she was going to yell at him or rip his clothes off.   
“If she knows it’s Mummy and Daddy’s wedding today then why is she pushing on Mummy’s bladder and making her need to pee every ten minutes?” Helena looked at him accusingly.  
There really was no safe answer to that. Gerard cleared his throat. “Why don’t you go and find Fun Ghoul and get him to help you into your wedding dress?”  
“Oh, great, because that’s going to be way more comfortable than this.” Helena rolled her eyes and tried to get up. “Oh Christ…” She took a deep breath, braced herself, and heaved, managing to get about two inches off her chair before falling back down. “OK, I got this…” She heaved again. “I got this…”  
“You don’t got this.” Gerard smiled and took her hands in his. “OK, deep breath…” He pulled hard and Helena finally heaved herself to her feet. “There we go.” He kissed her gently, leaning carefully around the bump. “Now go and find your - uh - man of honour and get him to help you into your dress so we can make this baby legitimate.”  
Helena muttered something under her breath and waddled off.  
“I love you too!” he called after her, secretly glad she was someone else’s problem for now. He pulled on his suit jacket and went to hunt down Kobra, who was officiating and who he hoped hadn’t lost the rings since the night before. “MIKEY!”  
“Don’t worry, I haven’t lost your rings.” Kobra stumbled out of one of the side caverns, wearing his suit but looking disappointingly dishevelled and hungover after a night drinking with Jet Star. “Sorry, I got dressed this morning but then I fell asleep and my hair got all messed up, and then I couldn’t find my razor…”  
Gerard shook his head. This wedding was going to be a fiasco. “Are you sure you have the rings?”  
Kobra looked hurt. “I said I have the rings!”  
Gerard wasn’t done. “Show me the rings.”  
“I have them!”  
Gerard took a step forward. “Show. Me. The. Rings.”  
“Jesus…” Kobra felt in his left pocket and a look of shock crossed his face. “Uh…”  
Gerard’s stomach did an unpleasant flip. “TELL ME YOU HAVE THE RINGS, MIKEY!”  
“I have the rings, I just…” Kobra was frantically feeling through all his pockets. “Uh…” He reached his inside pocket and grinned in triumph. “AH HA!” He produced the rings with a flourish. “See, I told you I had them!” He affected a look of injury. “I can’t believe you didn’t trust me…”  
Gerard rolled his eyes. “God forbid.”  
“Is this going to be a “bring your own shotgun” Catholic wedding?” asked Jet Star, wandering in from outside reeking of beer and covered in red dust from sleeping outside. “Or is it OK if I come without one?”  
“Ha fucking ha.” Gerard rolled his eyes. “Have you got the altar set up nicely outside? Helena wanted to be overlooking the valleys.” Or at least that was what he thought she’d said, given that she’d been breathing extremely hard and moaning his name at the time.   
“Yeah, it’s great.” Jet Star looked proud, having raided a florist and a wedding store the day before. “Tons of flowers, a white carpet, and I even wound all this fancy floral shit through an arch. It looks really nice.”  
“Do me a favour, Ray, and do not describe it as ‘fancy floral shit’ to my future wife.” Gerard rolled his eyes again.  
“Please.” Jet Star snorted. “Like I would do that.”  
Gerard narrowed his eyes. “My worry is that you might do that.”  
“He won’t.” Kobra cut in. “We stopped drinking at, like, 4am. We passed out on the outcrop.”  
“Smart choice.” Gerard looked around. “Where’s Ghoul?”  
“Wearing a low-cut green dress with unshaved legs and an unshaved chest.” Jet Star grinned. “Goes great with the red lipstick he borrowed from Helena.”  
Jesus Christ. Gerard shook his head.  
“But all ready and waiting with the bride.” Jet Star smiled. “Kobra, Poison, it’s time to go. Let’s head out.”  
Gerard took a deep breath and followed his officiant and best man outside. It was time to marry the most frightening woman alive.


	12. 12

Jet Star elbowed Kobra. “I can’t believe they actually make maternity size bridal gowns in white.”  
Kobra snorted. “I can’t believe you’re looking at the bride when she’s walking behind a dude in a dress and push-up bra.”  
“I can’t believe Ghoul went with the red lipstick.”  
“I can’t believe she’s actually wearing a mantilla veil.”  
“I can’t believe he doesn’t see how it clashes with that green.”  
“I can’t believe my dumbass brother thinks this counts as only having babies inside marriage.”  
Gerard threw up his arms. “OK, SO WE HAD SEX!”  
Helena stopped abruptly and fixed him with a death glare. Uh oh.  
“Really?” Jet Star looked at him with interest. “You and the Ghoul?”  
“No, me and…” Gerard swallowed, aware his bride’s first action as a newly married woman might be to shove him off the outcrop. “Me and, uh, Helena, we… we had sex.”  
“Come on.” Jet Star rolled his eyes. “I know Catholic school sex ed is bad, but I think even Kobra figured that out.”  
Kobra shivered. “Dude, I was in the next bed. I will NEVER forget they had sex.”  
“Wait.” Ghoul threw his bouquet aside and stared. “You were in the NEXT BED?”  
“Yes, and I saw everything. He didn’t even have the courtesy to have her go on top.” Kobra shook his head. “Instead of an eyeful of toned ballet dancer, I got an eyeful of the moon bouncing off of my stupid brother’s bare white ass.”  
“Your stupid brother is ready to kill you,” hissed Gerard, then ducked Helena’s bouquet as it flew past his head and over the outcrop. “Uh… I love you?”  
“I love you too, but do not for one second think that that will stop me from killing you.” Helena hitched up her wedding dress, kicked off her shoes, and stomped the rest of the way up the carpet. “Let’s get this nightmare over with.”  
“”What a… wonderful way to describe our wedding.” Gerard swallowed nervously and took her hands in his. “I love you, Helena.”  
“I-“ Helena looked down, smiling a little despite her anger and squeezing his hands. “I love you too.”  
“Gross. OK.” Kobra cleared his throat. “Beloved Ghoul wearing drag and Jet Star in a dusty suit, we are here to commemorate the fact that my far more devout Catholic sibling believes that a service conducted by his slightly drunk brother on a cliff in the desert of California will somehow make God far more down with his decision to conceive a child outside of marriage.  
“Jesus Christ,” muttered Gerard.  
“Yes, and him too. Said devout sibling, will you take this extremely pregnant and frightening woman, who is all said and done far too hot for him, as your wife in holy matrimony?” Kobra eyed Helena, aware she might decide to take a swing at him.  
Gerard smiled. “I will.”  
“And said extremely pregnant and frightening woman, who is all said and done far too hot for him, will you take my devout sibling as your husband in holy matrimony?” Kobra held up his hands, ready to block a sucker punch.  
None came. Helena smiled back. “I will.”  
“Stellar choice.” Kobra rolled his eyes. “Well, with a reminder that it is customary to allow one’s friends and family to reach their ‘shut the fuck up’ headphones before commencing one’s postmarital sexual gymnastics, I hereby pronounce you husband and wife.” He shoved his brother aside and bolted for the caves, closely followed by Jet Star and Fun Ghoul.  
“Jesus.” Gerard made a note to kill his brother. “What happened to ‘you may now kiss the bride’?”  
“Would you like to kiss the bride?” Helena was still smiling at him.  
“I would.” He smiled again and kissed her. “Oh crap, Mikey still has the rings…”  
“It’ll wait.” She kept kissing him and pulled him back towards the caves, laughing as he tried to crane around the bump to hug her. “I think we’ve learned hugging is out over the past two months, G.”   
“It happens.” He shrugged and slid the zip down the back of her dress, running the tips of his fingers up and down her spine as they finally reached their area of the caves. “Uh…” He paused. “Can we save the ‘carrying over the threshold’ thing for after you have the baby?”  
Helena laughed and shoved him back onto their bed, pulling off her wedding dress and pressing herself against his hand. “I already took all my clothes off, G…”  
“That’s true, you did…” He kissed her again and peeled off his jacket, kicking off his shoes as she undid his pants and pushed them off with her foot. He slipped his hand inside her panties, stroking and kneading with his fingers.“Mmmmm…” She started to run her hands through his hair, kissing and biting at his neck and shoulders. “Mmmmm, you taste so good…”   
He felt her start to rub herself against his hand and pushed one finger inside her, stroking her faster and harder. “More?”  
“Yes, more, oh, more…” Helena started to kiss the side of his neck. “Oh, more, always…”   
“Always?”  
“Always, you always know how to make me feel so good!” She started to breathe heavily, her body trembling. He pushed another finger inside her and she cried out. “G, G, more, more, keep touching me, faster, faster, FASTER!” She kept kissing the side of his neck, her legs tight around his hand. “PLEASE, FASTER, OH MY GOD!”  
“Christ, Helena, that feels good…” She was biting and then gently kissing him, her hands on his shoulders and her nails digging into his skin. “CHRIST, Helena!”  
“G, G, G, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD…” Helena’s legs were shaking, her body arching as he touched her. “ OH, OH JESUS, OH-“ She came hard around his hand, shaking violently. “Oh, oh, oh…”Helena smiled and looked at him, stroking the side of his face. “Oh, you always make me feel so… oh. She sat up and looked around. “OH SHIT!”  
“So what?!” Gerard was getting impatient. “So what?!”  
She smiled at him. “So ‘my waters just broke’, G.”  
“What?” Gerard couldn’t stop his face from falling. “But we didn’t even get to the sex part!”  
“WHAT?!” Helena’s mouth fell open. “You want to have sex NOW?!”  
“Well, no, not now, but…” Gerard silently cursed. “I mean, uh, so, you feel OK?” Good catch.  
“Well, I’ve been cramping all day, but I’ve been having Braxton-Hicks for two weeks, so- OH!” She clutched at her stomach. “This is a BIG one!”  
“Here, here, let me time it-“ Gerard reached for the stopwatch and Helena swatted it away, grabbed his hand and squeezed. “Ow, Helena, ow, ow, ow, tight, OW!”  
“It hurts, it hurts, it hurts…” Helena bit her lip hard and screwed his face up. “Ow, G, G, G, ow…”  
He shifted to sit next to her and put his other arm around her shoulders. “It’s OK, Helena-“  
“IT’S NOT OK!” She turned on him and Gerard recoiled. “WHY AREN’T YOU TIMING?”  
“You, uh…” He pointed. “You hit the watch over…”  
“Oooohhh…” She slowly stopped panting and relaxed, a smile of relief on her face. “Oh, now it’s OK…”  
“Feel better?” asked Gerard tentatively, fighting the urge to flex his hand.  
“Yes…” She looked at him. “What are you doing? It’s Killjoy Baby time! Start timing!”  
Killjoy Baby. Jesus. He silently cursed Jet Star. But… baby time.He smiled and grabbed the watch.


	13. 13

“All right, contractions are 60 seconds apart, it’s time to have this baby!” Helena eased herself up on the table, Gerard’s hand in hers, and put her feet in the stirrups. “Who’s delivering?”  
“I’ll do it.” Gerard rolled up his sleeves.  
“You will not.” Helena fixed him with a look. “You will stay firmly north of the equator.”  
Gerard stared at her. “I don’t want the other guys staring at your… you know!”  
Helena raised her eyebrows. “Vagina?”  
“Yes, uh…” Gerard blushed. “That.”  
Helena sighed. “Did you ever see ‘Jaws’, Gerard?”   
Gerard wasn’t sure if this was a trick question. “Uh… yes?”  
“And how long did it take you to get back in the water?”  
“Oh.” Gerard looked at his feet. “Point taken.”  
“Right.” Helena looked at the others. “Who’s doing it?”  
There was a silence.  
“I’m a doctor.” Helena rolled her eyes. “I will talk you through the whole thing.”  
Fun Ghoul stepped forward and took a deep breath. “I’ll do it.”  
“Thank you.” Helena smiled and then winced as another contraction began. “OK… take a… a sheet…” She gritted her teeth, her hand tightening on Gerard’s. “Drape it over my stomach and knees so only you can see.”  
“OK, I can do that.” Ghoul grabbed a sheet and folded it awkwardly, draping it over Helena’s legs.  
“Now… sit between my legs and take off my panties.”  
“Um… sure.” Fun Ghoul swallowed, pulled off Helena’s panties, and immediately passed out.  
“Oh, for fuck’s sake…” Helena rolled her eyes. “Has no one here seen a vagina before?”  
“That’s not a vagina…” Fun Ghoul was rolling around on the floor, his eyes wide. “It’s something out of ‘Alien’”…  
Helena looked at Jet Star. “Jet Star, you’re up.”  
Jet Star looked reluctant. “Uh… I am?”  
“Yes. Sit the fuck down.” Helena narrowed her eyes.  
“OK.” Jet Star sat down and got a look under the sheet. “Oh, fuck, it is something out of ‘Alien’…”  
“Shut up.” Gerard looked ready to punch him. “It is my wife’s… you know. It is not something out of ‘Alien’.”  
Helena ignored him. “Get Kobra to fetch the vodka.”  
Jet Star looked at her hopefully. “For me to take the edge off?”  
Helena’s eyes narrowed dangerously “For you to sanitise your hands and arms.”  
Jet Star went bright red as Kobra returned with the vodka. “Oh.”  
“Splash the vodka over your hands and forearms. Make sure you cover everything, and don’t touch anything but me and the baby afterwards.”  
“OK, I can do that…” Jet Star opened the bottle of vodka and rubbed it over his hands and arms. “What now?”  
“You’re going to see the baby’s head pretty soon. When the area around my vagina starts to bulge, press your thumb firmly against my perineum, right behind it.”  
“WHAT?” Jet Star reared backwards.  
“WHAT?” Gerard dropped her hand in shock.  
“It’s a medical necessity, not a chance for him to feel me up.” Helena rolled her eyes. “However much you love it when I knead yours during sex.”  
Gerard went bright red and the others snorted.  
“OK, so, I’m, uh, touching that, and what do I do next?” Jet Star had gone very pale.  
“You guide her head out and check the cord’s not around her neck. If it’s not, you’re fine. If it is, tell me and I’ll tell you what to do. She’s going to turn naturally onto her side once her head is out, and you’re going to clean her face with a cloth soaked in the vodka and then guide out her shoulders. After that you’re pretty much home free.” Helena forced a smile, her face contorting as she felt another contraction. “Ready?”  
Jet Star shook his head and ducked under the sheet. “I will never be ready for this…”  
Helena smiled up at Gerard. “I love you so much.”  
“I love you too.” He leaned in and kissed her. “For eternity.”  
Helena smiled again. “For eternity.”

“BASTARD!" Helena clenched her fist tightly around Gerard's hand.  
Gerard tried his best to smile at her as he felt the bones crunch. His wife had become increasingly hostile over the past two hours, and it had now gotten to the stage where he had become a little afraid of what was coming next. Relax, Gerard, imagine she's a bear. You know how to deal with bears. Just don't show your fear. It'll be fine. She won't kill you, she loves you. You think. “Come on, Helena, it's OK.” He tried to stroke her hair.  
She slapped his hand away angrily. “You lazy useless bastard, I can't believe I only got two orgasms out of this!”  
Gerard looked hurt. “I thought two was quite good going considering my brother was three feet away…"  
“IT'S NOT WORTH THIS!” Helena squeezed his hand tightly and Gerard actually saw stars explode in front of his eyes.  
“Yikes…” muttered Jet Star, ducking back under the sheet. At this point he was less scared of Alien Vagina than of the woman it was part of.  
“Can we, uh, relax the hand?” asked Gerard tentatively. “Because right now it, uh, really hurts.”  
“I'LL GIVE YOU 'REALLY HURTS', YOU BASTARD!” Helena swiped her hair back off her face impatiently, clenched her hand into a fist and punched him hard in the crotch.  
Gerard gasped and doubled over. “Jesus H Christ…" He gagged and crumpled to the floor, one hand clutching his crotch and the other still holding Helena's hand as tightly as he could with what he was now fairly sure was a broken hand.  
“It's OK, Helena, you're almost there!” Jet Star peeked out from under the sheet. “I see the top of her head!”  
“Put your thumb where I told you!” Helena sat up, flapping her hand wildly. “Put your thumb where I told you!”  
“Uh…” Jet Star hesitated.   
Ghoul shook his head. “Don’t look at me, dude, I’m not doing it.”  
“PUT YOUR THUMB WHERE I TOLD YOU TO!”  
“Sure thing.” Jet Star ducked back under the sheet, took a deep breath, and pressed his thumb hard against Helena’s perineum.  
“I'm fine, by the way.” Gerard was still doubled over on his side on the floor trying not to retch. “Just in case you were worried.”  
“SHUT UP!” Helena gritted her teeth and pushed harder. “I will never be the same after this! I'll barely be able to sit down for weeks! My ass is going to be the size of Nevada! I'll pee when I laugh! JET STAR HAS HIS HAND ON MY CROTCH!”  
“You told me to put my hand on your crotch,” said Jet Star, looking hurt.  
Helena didn't seem to hear him. “YOU AND YOUR STUPID HUGE HEAD! I knew I should have fucked the Ghoul instead!”  
Fun Ghoul puffed out his chest, looking proud, and Gerard fought back the wave of nausea that was suddenly rising in his throat. “Now, Helena, let's not say things that we can't take back…" Gerard finally staggered to his feet, wincing and hanging tightly onto the bedrail. “It'll be worth it though, won't it?” He smiled and stroked her hair. “Our child's being born, Helena.”  
She looked straight at him, her eyes burning with rage. “REALLY, G? I HADN'T FUCKING NOTICED!”  
Jesus. The bear, Gerard, think of the bear. “Come on, Helena, soon we'll get to meet our baby girl. Won't that be worth it? Aren't you excited to meet her?” He smiled at her and squeezed her hand.  
“FUCK YOU!” She hunched over and kept pushing as hard as she could. “Oh GOD…"  
“It's OK, Helena, I'm here.” Gerard pushed her sweaty fringe back off her face.  
Helena looked as if she was about to burst into tears. “G, why does it have to HURT so much…"  
“Um…" Gerard wasn't sure if this was meant to a rhetorical question or not. “Would you like the biblical explanation?”  
Her eyes narrowed dangerously. “No, what I would like is to KILL YOU.”  
Uh oh... definitely meant to be rhetorical... “I know it hurts, Helena, but I'm here for you, OK, and I love you.” Gerard smiled sympathetically and stroked her hair. “I love you more than anything or anyone else in the world.” He kissed her cheek. “For eternity.”  
“I HATE YOU!”  
“Come on, we both know that you don't mean that.” He kissed her hand.  
“HELL YES I DO!”  
“Well, I love you.” Gerard stroked her hair.  
Helena glared at him. “Oh, you'll pay for this…"  
Gerard just kept smiling, trying not to show that that was exactly what he was afraid of.  
“Come on, Helena, one more big push and you'll be there, come on.” Jet Star smiled encouragingly. “Her shoulders are almost out, just one more, OK?”  
“OK.” Helena nodded, gritted her teeth and pushed, clutching Gerard's hand and tightening her fist around it, her fingernails digging further into his palm. “Oh GOD…"  
“It's OK, Helena, it's OK.” Gerard kissed her hand. “Come on, you can do it.”  
“You're damn right I can, you useless son of a bitch!” She bit down on her lip and pushed harder, looking more determined than ever. “Don’t you dare drop her, Jet Star!”  
Gerard leaned over and kissed the top of her head, squeezing her hand. “That's my girl.”  
Helena threw back her head and screamed, and suddenly the cave was filled with the sound of a baby crying.  
“Helena, Helena, you did it!” Gerard was staring at his child with amazement. Jesus, how on Earth did she just manage that? That is one enormous baby...  
“Oh, thank God, thank God…" Helena fell back against the pillows, gasping for breath. “Thank God that's over... I am never, EVER doing that again, I SWEAR…”  
“I'm so proud of you, Helena…" Gerard bent down and kissed her. He smiled at her and pushed her sweaty fringe back off her face again. “I love you so, so much. For eternity.”  
“I love you too.' Helena smiled weakly. “For eternity.”  
“Uh…” Jet Star reappeared from under the sheet. “Can I take my hand off your crotch now?”  
Gerard’s hands balled into fists. “Only if you want to live.”  
“Yes, cut the cord, two inches or so from her, and put on the clamp.” Helena sat up. “Be ready to catch the placenta.”  
Jet Star went pale. “The what?”  
“Hey…” Fun Ghoul had the baby now, who had stopped crying the second he took her and was now staring at him with fascination. “I’m your uncle Frank, and you are adorable, just the cutest thing…”  
Helena cleared her throat. “Hey, Ghoul. Can I have my baby now?”  
“Oh. Yes.” Ghoul reluctantly handed the baby to Helena.  
“Hello there, Hope.” Helena leaned down to kiss her daughter’s head, ignoring Jet Star’s scream as the placenta hit the front of his shirt with a squelch. “I’m your mummy…” She looked up at Gerard, who put his arm around her shoulder. “And this is daddy…”   
Gerard smiled and kissed her. “Hey there… Hope.”


	14. 14

“She’s the best thing we ever did.” Gerard was staring at Hope. “She’s the best thing I ever made.”  
“Are you kidding? She’s the best thing I ever made, and I built that rocking coil we have on top of the caves.” Helena stroked Hope’s cheek with her finger and handed her to her father. “How long do you think I have before she starts wearing tight pants and dyeing her hair?”  
“I’d say 13 years.” Gerard kissed the top of her head. “Don’t worry. You have 16 before she first sets fire to the house.”  
“Thank God for that.” Helena rolled her eyes and threw the covers off her legs. “You take care of her. I have to go finish automating the system so we can concentrate on other things.”  
His mouth fell open. “Helena, it’s been a day!”  
“Really, G? Because I hadn’t noticed how much my crotch still hurt from pushing a ten pound human being out of it.” Helena gritted her teeth. “Maybe someday you can push a watermelon out of your ass and we can compare.”  
Gerard wasn’t backing down. “You need to take it easy for a few days, Helena.”  
“And I need to finish what I couldn’t when I was too pregnant to reach the switches and circuit boards.” Helena pulled her gown over her head. “Go and wake the others up. I need ten large trucks, five delivery vans, at least twenty catering trucks painted in the right colours, and every pound of fertiliser and pack of margarine you guys can find within 250 miles. I need fuse wire, walkie-talkies, clocks, plastic boxes, and magnets. I need oil drums, gasoline, LPG, light crude oil. Go to the quarries and steal me some plastic explosives, detonators, and blasting caps.”  
Gerard rolled his eyes. “Yes, because the first thing everyone thinks of when they have a new baby is building bombs.”  
Helena turned on him. “The first thing I think of when I look at my new baby is that I don’t want to raise her in a world ruled by BLI! You didn’t see LA, Gerard. I know where you were. You were on an air conditioned bus travelling across remote Arizona. I saw the fires, I saw people with their eyes burned out by the nuclear flash, I worked at an emergency clinic. I watched people dying from radiation sickness and hideous burns, the scorches where people had been vaporised. She can’t grow up with that, G. I won’t let that happen.”  
“Helena.” Gerard took her hand gently, cradling Hope carefully with one arm. “Get back into bed. I will send the guys out to get anything you want, and I will paint desert camouflage sheets, but a week of rest for you will not hurt.”   
Helena hesitated, and then reluctantly got back into bed. “But I know how to do electronics, Gerard. I have no idea what to do with her.” She smiled at him tearfully as he passed the baby back to her. “I’ve never not known how to do something before. Do other parents get instruction manuals or something?”  
“I think we just figure it out as we go.” Gerard kissed her forehead and eased off her gown. “You’ll be a wonderful mother, Helena.”  
“Mmmmm.” Helena leaned down and kissed her baby’s head, smiling as Hope started to suck her thumb.   
“And don’t forget the Ghoul.” Gerard grinned. “Hope loves him.”  
“She does.” Helena stroked Hope’s light brown fuzz of hair. “It’s like he has magic powers. She cries, he just has to smile at her and she stops. I have no idea how he does it.”   
He started to kiss the side of her face and neck. “And it means we have an automatic babysitter if we need some time to ourselves.”  
Helena raised an eyebrow. “You know we can’t have sex for at least six weeks, right, G?”  
“Six WEEKS?” Gerard saw Helena’s eyes narrow. Yikes. “I mean, of course, I knew that. I meant just to talk, and… uh… you know, share, and… spiritually bond.”  
“Sure.” Helena rolled her eyes and looked at Gerard. “If I’d known I’d meet you, G… if I’d known I’d have Hope… I don’t know if I’d have done what I did. I don’t know if I’d have taken on BLI and painted a big red target on my back.”  
“No, Helena.” Gerard shook his head. “You would.”  
“How do you know?”  
Gerard sighed. “Because the Helena that would have just let them win is not the Helena I fell in love with. That Helena would probably have left me where she found me in the road, and instead of a life with a brand new goddaughter who already worships him, the Ghoul would have one where he’d had to bury his best friend.” Gerard climbed back into bed with her and put his arm around her shoulders. “You’re doing good, Helena. No one else has the genius to do what you’ve done. You forged security papers that fooled the most paranoid security division in the world, and you wrote a computer virus that even military experts can’t decode. You’re going to save millions of other people because you had the guts to challenge them. You’re going to give millions of other Hopes the freedom to do what they want in life without some corporation controlling everything they do.”  
“But I want more time with her, G.” Helena bit her lip and rested her head on his shoulder. “I want more time with you.”  
“Helena.” He turned to look at her. “I’m yours. You have me for eternity.”  
Helena forced a smile. “For eternity.”


	15. 15

News headlines from underground free press:

“Enormous fertiliser and crude oil road train bomb explodes in BLI military and police academy, causing “tsunami of fire” that overwhelms entire complex in minutes - S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W/ unit training programmes devastated, hundreds of assassins and draculoids killed”

“Computer virus cause BLI to lose ability to control corporation computer networks”

“Five catering truck bombs parked in garage beneath BLI. corporate headquarters explode after half hour coded telephone warning”

“President of New United States and BLI killed along with entire senior staff in CWT explosion on official 747-400”

“Unknown insurgent group picking off groups of draculoids from distant vantage points using sniper rifles”

“Mystery man in mask with crimson hair surfaces, luring patrols through valleys and past IEDs”

“All transatlantic cables making landfall on eastern seaboard unexpectedly cut in simultaneous attack on information services”

“LPG device in sewers beneath New New York cause huge explosion beneath city, flattening poorly built buildings and causing manhole covers to fly hundreds of metres into the air following trademark coded telephone warning”

“Millions leave BLI complexes to return to former homes, citing doubts about ability of organisation to keep them safe following stream of bombings”

“Dozens of BLI compounds fall derelict after mass desertion by residents”

“IED devices detonated by remote control and parked beside roads foul attempts by BLI to move operatives and cargo”

“Downloaded information packet exposed by fugitive Helena Snowden experiences exponential increase in circulation as people hear of existence of state secrets”

———————————————

“Who knew margarine could make an effective incendiary device?” Gerard pulled up in his truck, packed with blocks of margarine and an oil drum of gasoline attached to a blasting cap and length of fuse wire and painted in BLI catering livery.  
“I did.” Helena was finishing up unwinding her spool of fuse wire into the front cabin of her truck. “You need to park it in the tunnel leading under the mountains into New Los Angeles, then jump in with me and we’ll carry on to New San Francisco. Set the fuse wire for ten minutes, turn around, and run for your life. Once you’re in that tunnel, G, I can’t help you.”   
“Helena, this is not my first trip.” Gerard put on the handbrake and jumped down from his truck. “I know Jet Star is your usual partner for bombings, but I’ve been on plenty of sniper and overground IED trips before.” He smiled. “You look really hot in that redheaded wig…”  
“You… do not look hot in that mousy brown one.” Helena laughed. “Take it off and unpin that crimson hair, G, before I decide I want a divorce.”  
Gerard raised an eyebrow and pulled off the wig, tossing it back into the truck and slamming the door. “You do know our daughter has a little frizz of hair this colour?”  
“Yes, but on her it’s beautiful.” She smiled and kissed him, laughing as she felt his hands under her shirt. “You do know it’s barely six weeks since Hope was born, G?”  
“I know, but we can make out, right?” He grinned and kept kissing her. “I’ve never done that with a wanted terrorist before…”  
Helena shrugged. “I have.”  
Gerard paused. “Tell me it wasn’t with Jet Star.”  
“No, it was with a Venezuelan who helped me write code. Don’t worry, it was years before I met you.” Helena grinned. “Jet Star turned me down.”  
He grimaced. “Urgh.”  
She laughed and glanced around. “You know, that store looks pretty derelict… I bet we could go make out in there and no one would ever know…”  
“Mmmm, I like the way you think…” He laughed as she pulled off his BLI T-shirt and dragged him back towards the store, unbuttoning her shirt as she kicked open the door. “No, Helena, leave the wig on, I like it…”  
“What is it with men and redheads?” Helena rolled her eyes, kicking off her shoes as he unbuttoned her jeans.  
“They’re just so much fun…” He felt her start to kiss down the side of his neck. “You never know if they’re going to kiss you or kill you…”  
She raised an eyebrow at him and pushed off his jeans, pulling him down on top of her. “That’s true of any Irish girl. “Plus, G, I never told you but… I am naturally redheaded. I’ve been dyeing it since I was 14.”  
He smiled and leaned in close to her ear. “I know.”  
“Oh, of course you do.” Helena sighed and started to bite at his shoulders. “G, remind me it’s only been six weeks.”  
“No.” He wrapped his arm around her back as she kissed him hard, slipping his hand inside her panties.  
“G.” Helena started to breathe hard and ripped off her panties, throwing them across a clothing rack. “Remind me it’s only been six weeks.”  
“No.” He kept kissing her and ran his hand up and down her back, feeling her undo her bra and yank it off, pushing her chest against his and wrapping her arms around his back.   
She shivered as he traced his fingers up and down her spine and tore off his boxers. “Oh… oh G… remind me it’s only been… remind me it’s only been six weeks…”  
“No.” He felt her wrap her legs around his back and started to kiss her neck. “Helena, oh Helena, it’s been so LONG, Helena…”  
“I know, but…” Helena bit her lip as he pulled her hips upwards, breathing harder and harder. “Oh… OH, G… remind me it’s been six weeks…”  
“No.” He kept kissing her, touching her with his fingers and hearing her gasping his name in his ear. “Helena, I’ve missed you so much…”  
“Mmmmm, I’ve missed you too…” She tightened her legs and pulled him inside her as he pushed his hips against hers, burying her face in the side of his neck. “You’re still delicious, G…”  
He laughed. “I love it when you tell me I’m delicious.”  
“Oh… OH… I love it when you make me feel so good…” She pulled him deeper inside her. “Oh… OH, OH… OH, G, FASTER, FASTER…”  
He kept moving his fingers, feeling her hips trembling and then shaking as she pushed up against him. “JESUS, Helena…”  
“OH… OH YES…” Helena pulled back and kissed him, breathing hard into his mouth and wrapping his arms tighter around his back. “OH, OH YES, OH G, OH…” He felt her body arch beneath his as she came hard and fast. “Oh… oh…” She smiled and kissed him again, her face flushed as she looked into his eyes, still moving her hips. “Oh, G, oh, that felt so good…” She leaned in to whisper in his ear, her breath hot on his neck. “Mmmmmm, oh, do it again, please…”  
He sighed to himself. Of course she wasn’t done with him yet. She started to bite at his neck, moving down to his shoulders and chest. “Oh Helena, oh Helena, oh Helena…”  
“Mmmmm, G, kiss me…” She started to kiss him again, moving her hips faster and faster as he breathed her name over and over. “Oh God, I love you…”  
“I love you too…” He kissed her neck and suddenly felt her slowly rake her fingernails across his back. “OH JESUS, HELENA, OH GOD, HELENA…”  
She smiled and pulled him closer, burying her face in his hair. “I know you like that, G…”  
“Like?” He gasped as she grabbed his hair, pulling his face again her chest and arching her neck backwards. “I LOVE it… oh, HELENA, HELENA, HELENA…”  
Helena was breathing harder and harder. ”OH GOD, OH G, OH, OH…” Her body started to shake and her legs tightened around his waist. “OH, OH, OH-“ She screamed and raked her fingernails across his shoulders as she came, kissing his forehead and murmuring his name over and over as he finally let himself come and collapse beside her. “Oh, G…” She rolled over and started to stroke his hair, kissing him gently as he stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. “I’ve missed you.”  
“I’ve missed you too.” He smiled at her.  
She kissed him again. “You know, we should really get going to New Los Angeles.”  
“Yes, but we’re not. Not yet.” He hugged her close. “I love you so much.”  
“Mmmm, I love you too.” Helena laid her head on his chest. “I can hear your heart beating again, G.” She smiled. “Remember, G, ‘Your hand upon my chest is mine…’”  
He smiled back. ‘And your eyes close with my dreams.’”


	16. 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for any typos or wrong tenses in this piece. I am epileptic and am currently full of drugs so strong to kill the seizure activity that it's amazing I'm conscious. But, you get to see Hope at 18 months.

News headlines from underground free press:

“Whistleblower Helena Snowden and unknown group of insurgents tied to fresh series of terrorist attacks against BLI institutions and personnel”

“Fugitive Helena Snowden elevated to ‘red’ status, $1,000,000 reward offered for information on her whereabouts”

“Helena Snowden hiding in southern California, reports state”

“BLI ‘ring of fire’ set up around southern California, state on lockdown as BOLO issued for 1978 Trans Am with spider emblem”

“After 18 months of new attacks BLI closing in on Helena Snowden, ‘ring of fire’ slowly tightened to 30 mile radius and advancing daily”

“Gerard, it is not safe for you to be here with me.” Helena was in her red ballgown, long black hair pinned up on the back of her head as she stuffed dresses and shoes into her case, Hope’s bag already fully packed and sitting next to hers. “Go with them in the new car. They’re coming for me.”  
“Helena, I am not leaving you alone.” Gerard crossed his arms. He had no bag because his wife had ripped off the last of his shirt and pants the night before, and he was somehow crammed into Fun Ghoul’s spares. “You are my wife, and I love you. Hope will be fine with the Ghoul for a few weeks.”  
“A few weeks.” Helena bit her lip and picked up her daughter, pressing her lips against her forehead and stroking her frizzy brown hair. “G, it won’t be a few weeks. You know that. Go.”  
“No, Helena. I will shoot myself right here if you try and make me leave.” Gerard pulled his neon yellow gun and held it under his chin. “Would you rather ‘maybe’ get hurt, or ‘definitely’ get hurt?” He raised his eyebrows and looked at her. “I will do it, Helena. Don’t doubt it for a second.”  
“I…” Helena sighed. “OK, G. You can stay with me. Just put the damn gun down before Frank spends the next ten years stopping Hope mimicking you with a water pistol.”  
“Helena.“ Gerard looked at her. “You mean until you do.”  
“Uh, sure.” She forced a nod and smile and slung Hope’s bag over her shoulder. “You ready to say bye-bye to Mummy, Hope?”  
Hope grinned. “Mama.”  
“That’s right.” Helena laughed and kissed her daughter’s forehead. “We’ll stop at one of you weird clothing stores, G. Trust me, you’re not the only one who misses your regular clothes. She ran her finger up and his spine, yanking his hair firmly in to kiss her. “I love you, G. I’ve never met anyone who was willing to kill himself rather than be left behind.”  
“I love you too.” He kissed her gently, then turned and kissed his daughter. “Daddy loves you, Hope.”  
Helena raised an eyebrow and shifted her daughter on her hip. “Even though he her first word was Frank.”  
Gerard forced a laugh. “I’m totally over that.” He wasn’t. “I mean, Ghoul was right there, of course it was… He took a big breath, trying to ignore the hurt. His best friend was spending more time with his daughter than he was. No, Gerard. Deep breath, This is important. “EVERYONE IN THE HIDEOUS CAMRY, RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!”  
Kobra was first out the door, sprinting toward the car as Jet Star lingered. “I’ll miss you, Helena.”  
She smiled, hugged him and kissed his cheek. “I’ll miss you too, Mr Jet Star.”  
He grinned and lowered his voice. “Don’t tell him I said this, but Poison lucked out more than anyone I ever know." He looked at Gerard and raised his voice. "We all love her, P.” He paused. “In a far very different way than she loves you.”  
Gerard’s fists tightened. “It better be.”  
Jet Star hugged her. “We’ll take care of the Killjoy Baby.”  
Helena smiled. “The Killjoy Baby.”  
Gerard shook his head. The Killjoy Baby. Jesus Christ. “Promise me you’ll call her Hope.”  
Jet Star smiled innocently and lugged his case out to the car. “Of course.”  
Liar. Gerard grimaced.  
“Helena, uh…” Fun Ghoul grabbed her shoulder. “I’ve never, uh, really apologised for what I said in the car when we were going to CalTech. About leaving you behind and taking your car.” He swallowed. “I was… I was scared, and I was angry, and I think I was jealous, and… well, I shouldn’t have said it. I’m sorry.” He smiled. “I’m glad you’re here. You and my little lady here.” He tickled Hope and she giggled with joy. “Even if having her riding along in her car seat means I have to sit on the floor in the car.”  
“I’m glad you’re here too.” Helena smiled back. “I know you’re sorry, Ghoul. I’ve known for months. You know what they say - actions speak louder than words.” She leaned in and hugged him with one arm. “But thank you. I appreciate it.”  
“Thank you, Helena.” Fun Ghoul hugged her back. “Hey, maybe you should get a minivan.”  
Helena threw back her head and roared with laughter. “Can you really see me giving up my Trans Am for an old Windstar, Ghoul?”  
“Really not.” He laughed as she handed him Hope’s bag. “You’ll always be a badass, Helena. Even if you and Poison move to the suburbs and have a half dozen kids that you send to Catholic school.”  
“Never going to happen, Ghoul.” Helena swallowed, kissed Hope and handed her over to Fun Ghoul. “Promise me you’ll take good care of her, Frank.”  
“Of course I will, Helena.” Fun Ghoul hugged her again. “I’ll dress her up in fun onesies, and put bows in that frizzy hair, and get her sparkly skirts and tops…”  
Helena tried and failed to hide a smile. “Don’t you dare, Frank.” She kissed Hope’s cheek. “If I come back and see her in anything sparkly or pink, you will pay dearly.”  
“Oh, I know.” Fun Ghoul hugged Hope and she squirmed. “Don’t worry, Helena. I moved her car seat into the new car, and we’ll find a nice house to live in. As soon as we get there, we’ll send you a coded message so you know where to find us when you come back.”  
“If, Frank.” Helena swallowed again. “If.”  
“No, Helena.” He looked at her firmly. “When.”  
Helena nodded, biting her lip, and leaned in to kiss Hope’s forehead. “I love you, Hope.”  
Frank smiled. “She knows, Helena.” He shifted Hope to hold her in both arms and carried her out of the caves, and Helena broke down in heavy sobs.  
“Hope…” Helena buried her face into Gerard’s shoulder and cried harder as he hugged her tightly, choking back his own tears. “Oh, Hope…”  
“I know, Helena.” He leaned in to kiss her gently, stroking her hair. “You will see her again, Helena.”  
"Not soon enough. They’re miles away, G.” She sighed and pointed towards the Trans Am. “I put a blue skin on it so it’s less recognisable. Don’t worry, it peels right off.” She forced a smile. "The Spider wins."  
Gerard rolled his eyes and stroked the tears off her cheeks. “Thank God. Without that scary-ass spider I would have given up and croaked on the road.”  
“Well, thank God.” Helena kissed his forehead gently. “Even if you’re lying out your ass, I’m glad I stopped. I’m glad I met you. I love you G. I love you so much.” She smiled sadly and stroked his cheeks. “You’re one crazy-ass bitch, and that’s why I love you so hard it hurts.” She leaned in and kissed him. “For eternity.”  
"For eternity." He smiled and kissed her gently. “I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,  
I love you directly without problems or pride:  
I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love,  
except in this form in which I am not nor are you...”  
Helena smiled." I am not nor are you..." She pushed her chest against his, her heart beating hard in his chest as she breathed into his mouth. “”I feel your heart, G…"  
"I love you, Helena." He stroked her hair and held her close. “You are all I want, Helena. Be careful.”  
Her face was set. “I will do what I have to do.”  
Gerard sighed. “Helena…” He paused as she broke down in heavy tears against his neck again. “I love you, Helena. I love you so much, all I want is you…” He started to cry. “Oh my God, Hope…”  
“And all I want it is you to be with me.” Helena felt Gerard kiss the top of her head. “Be there for me, G, just… be there for her too.”  
"I don’t know if I can." He kissed her and hugged her tightly. “I love you, Helena.” He smiled and stroked her hair. “I will protect you both, as long as I can.” He smiled. “For eternity.”  
“I love you too.” She smiled and stroked his cheek, choking back tears as the car engine roared to life and the others drive away with her barely 18-month-old daughter, “For…” She broke down again.” For eternity.” She whipped out a map and pointed at a railway track leading through New New Los Angeles. “We deploy a huge, HUGE bomb. The only people left there are almost all the dracs and assassins.“ We load that mile-long fucker with gasoline, light crude oil, and chlorine. and let it loose on the steep incline with full power and wait for it to hit the slow speed curve. It’s in what used to be San Bernardino but is now BLI’s ultimate corporate headquarters.. It hits a slow curve at a high speed and seconds later that train derails, unleashing clouds of chlorine and huge towers and rivers of fire. They are NOT taking my city without a fight.” She paused and her face hardened. “No telephone warning.”  
“Yikes…” Gerard kissed her, his hands stroking her back above her low-cut ballgown, “You are so sadistic… and vengeful…” He started to kiss her harder. “Why is that so sexy?”  
“They took my country centuries ago.” Helena gave him a look. “I’ll save yours, and then maybe I can finish taking back my own.” She began to cry harder. “Gerard, I want Hope, I want Hope…”  
“I know you do.” He kissed her forehead and hugged her tightly. “Let’s destroy San Bernardino and go from there.”  
“They’re closing in, G.” She managed a smile. “I don’t know how long I have…” She rolled her eyes. “And maybe how long you have now, you crazy bastard.”  
“I am a crazy bastard…” He smiled and pulled her on top of him, bracing his back hard against the wall of the room. Once, he had been concussed when she shoved him against the wall of the old motel and he cracked his head on a light fitting. “But I would rather die with you than live without you, Helena.  
“You… you crazy…” Helena bit her lip, breathing harder as he touched her. “You crazy bastard…”  
Gerard slipped the zip of her ballgown down. He grinned. “Call it pity sex.”  
Helena burst out laughing, pulling her ballgown down and ripping off his tank top, laughing to herself as he flicked off her panties and his jeans. Ever since he learned that trick, he just would not quit. “Kiss me, G, kiss me…Mmmm…”  
He kept kissing her, pulling the pins out of her hair and letting it cascade down her back, burying his face in it as she pushed herself onto him and started to move slowly. “Oh, HELENA…”  
"Oh G, let me show you how much you mean to me..." Helena bit his shoulder hard, kissing the bite and sucking deeply against it, moving down his chest. His chest was rapidly becoming covered in blood, smeared up to his neck as she sucked on his skin. “Oh, G…” She started licking at the blood on his skin as she bit, moving her hips gently as he kissed her hair. “Oh, G, you are my life, and if we die together, I would rather be with you than anyone else… She kissed his lips tentatively, the metallic tang blooming on his tongue almost making him come on the spot. “I love you so much.” She smiled and began to move her hips harder. “For eternity.”  
He grinned and kissed her, “For eternity.”  
“Mmmmmmmm, G…” She was still biting him, kissing the sides of his neck and chest with her hands cradling the side of his face, “Mmmm, you know HOW TO MAKE ME FEEL SO GOOD, OH GOD!”  
Gerard felt her push herself down and roll onto her back, pulling his body down onto hers.  
“Push harder, G, G, push harder…” She was beginning to thrust and tilt her hips upwards, her hands and fingers curling as he started to stroke her. “HARDER, G, HARDER, HARDER!”  
Luckily for her, he had a secret supply of energy drinks and had been practicing endurance and yogi exercises.  
He gritted his teeth as she began to kiss on his neck, her head arching backwards and breathing his name as he kissed her neck and chest. “FASTER, FASTER, FASTER, OH MY GOD FASTER G OH JESUS-“ She came hard and violently, her body contorting and her mouth wide open as she gasped his name over and over, before Gerard felt her pulling his body back closely on top of hers. “Gerard, touch me, touch me, touch me…”  
Gerard grinned and started to stroke her with his fingertips, stifling a cry as Helena deliberately dragged her fingers slowly against his back “Oh holy FUCK, Helena!”  
“Mmmmm, G you’re so delicious!” Helena was biting his skin, her tongue flicking again the bite as she kissed it deeply. “Mmmm, I could just suck on you all, all day…”  
Please do. Gerard swallowed and watched her eyes rolled back in her head. “Oh G, oh G, oh G, faster, harder!”  
Gerard stared. He really should take up Olympic swimming. He took a deep breath and pushed as hard as he could, feeling her breathing heavily against his skin and her hands grabbing desperately at his back. He gasped and tried to remember his guitar lessons, stroking her harder and faster as he pushed into her.  
“Oh G, oh, oh, oh, OH, OH, OH, OHHHHHH!” Helena almost exploded, her body contorting and collapsing to the floor. She laughed as Gerard came with a violent, shuddering cry and rolled off beside her,. “Oh… oh God, G… He laughed as she grabbed his body and rolled him over onto flat ground, snuggling up to his side and resting her head against the side of his neck, biting and kissing.  
“Mmmm, I love you…” He turned and kissed her forehead, and was stunned when his wife suddenly burst into hysterical tears. This was not a good endorsement of his sexual prowess. “Uh, Helena… are you OK?” He stroked her hair and grabbed a sheet, wrapping it around her. “Helena?”  
“Hope…” She began to cry harder. “I need Hope, G, and she’s gone!”  
“I know.” He sat down beside her and put his arm around her shoulder. “I know, Helena, I was just trying to show you much you meant to me, God, I love you so much, I miss her so much…”  
“But you might see her again!” Helena looked at him, clutching the sheet around her, and stroked the side of his face. “She’ll be safe, G, but I’m going to die, and you might too. I will never, ever see my baby girl again. She’s only 18 months old. Do you know how that feels?”  
“I…” Gerard hesitated. “Yes, Helena, I do.” He leaned in and kissed her gently. “I love you, Helena, and I will not let them get you. If I have to get between them and you, I will. You will live, I promise.” He kissed her forehead and pulled up his boxers. “I promise you, Helena. You will live, if it’s the last thing I do."  
She smiled bitterly. “You’re a crazy bastard, G.”  
“Yes.” He smiled and kissed her. “But I’m your crazy bastard.”


	17. 17

News headlines from underground free press:

“BLI ‘ring of fire’ tightens to 10 miles”

“Helena Snowden penned in, insurgents unleash fresh wave of attacks on BLI institutions”

“Snowden computer virus mutates again, wiping out key BLI communications systems”

“Pictures of fugitive Helena Snowden with multiple haircuts and colours issued by BLI”

“Reward for elimination of Helena Snowden raised to $2,000,000 followed rumours of fresh plan”

“Mystery crimson-haired masked man tied conclusively to Helena Snowden; “red alert” issued

———————————————

“Fun Ghoul just messaged me,” Gerard walked into the broken-down mine office they’d found. “They’re in a five-star former spa in Southern California.” He looked around and his nose wrinkled. “It has to be better than this.” He held up his copper-red wig. "And they probably don't have to wear this horrible wiry wig."  
“Suck it up.” Helena looked up from her indecipherable equations. “When is the train due?”  
“Very, very early tomorrow morning.” Gerard stroked the side of her face. “I promise I’ll drive all night to the Cajon Pass to switch the cars and throw out the train guards. I put it on full power, and I will detonate the pipeline when it derails using the walkie-talkie you gave me. He smiled a little. “This will be the biggest inferno BLI has ever seen.”  
She grinned. “You will take down BLI, G. I have taught you everything.”  
“I love you, Helena. “ He kissed the side of her face. “What else do you need’?”  
“I need you to make love to me, G.” She gently kissed the side of his face and ran her fingers up and down his spine.  
“I…oh… I mean, HERE?” Despite himself, he felt himself shiver again as her fingers tingled down his back. “We’ll probably catch… at least ten kinds of hepatitis, Helena…”  
"I want to show you how much I love you.” She smiled sadly and kept kissing him, tangling her fingers in his hair and pulling him close. "G, this could be our last chance.”  
“Helena, do NOT talk like that.” He pulled back and looked into her eyes, tears streaming down her face. “We have so much more to do..”  
“Well.” Helena forced a laugh. “At the very least you’ll get laid.”  
“Oh, Helena, this isn’t about me getting laid.” Gerard kissed the tears off her cheeks and stroked her bottom lip, rolling onto his side to face her. “I will never love anyone like I love you.”  
Helena reached down inside his pants and kissed his neck. “Then show me, G. Be with me...”  
She heard him breathe her name as she pushed down his pants. “Hey, G, when’d you stop wearing underwear?”  
He laughed softly. “You know exactly when…”  
“Oh yes, I do…” Helena finally felt him start to kiss her and unzip her ballgown, his finger running slowly down her back. “Jesus, Helena, when did YOU stop wearing underwear?”  
“When I threw that last pair over the clothing rack.” She smiled and cradled the sides of his face in her hands, kissing him gently as he pulled off her ballgown. “Take off your shirt, G, take off your shirt…”  
“I am, I - SWEET JESUS!” Helena was rubbing up against him with her hips and biting her way down his neck and shoulders, slowly kissing each bite mark as she went. “Jesus, Helena, that FEELS SO GOOD!”  
“Then touch me, G, touch me…” She leaned up and kissed his ear.  
Fuck yes. Gerard tore off his tank top and rolled on top of her, one hand under her head and cradling her face, and the other stroking her more and more urgently. “Helena, Helena, Helena, kiss me, Helena…”  
She smiled and kissed him, resting her head on his shoulder and looking into his eyes as he kissed her. “I love you, G.”  
He glanced both ways. “You mean P.”  
She pressed her lips against his firmly and buried her face in the side of his neck, “But I don’t love him.” She pulled herself up to look into his eyes again. “I love you.”  
“Mmmm, I love you too…” Gerard stroked her hair. “I love you so much.”  
She was biting at him again. “GOD, you’re delicious, G… She started thrusting her hips upwards as he touched her and starting to shake against his body.  
“JESUS G, KEEP GOING, KEEP GOING…” She pushed herself harder against his fingers, breathing harder and faster. “OH, FASTER, HARDER, OH JESUS!“ Helena cried out at the top of her voice, clutching at his back and and sinking her teeth into his chest. “OH CHRIST OH OH OH!” She threw her head back and screamed, pressing her chest tightly against his and kissing him hard as she came, thrusting up against him again and again and letting out a quiet moan as he finally pushed inside of her. “Oh, oh, oh…” She gasped loudly and wrapped her arm around his back, pulling herself closer against him. “Oh, GOD…, I love you SO MUCH!” She pressed her hand against the side of his face and kissed him gently, stroking his cheek. “I love you so much, I swear, I promise…” She looked into his eyes and kissed him again. “I promise, G.”  
He smiled at her and kissed her. “I know, Helena.”  
“No.” She shook her head and kissed his forehead. “I want you to remember that. Please.”  
He kissed her again and held her close. “I promise, Helena. I promise.”  
She smiled back and began to push up against him, listening to her gasping her name. “Mmmmmm, you know how to FEEL SO GOOD!” He kept stroking her, harder and faster, and felt her legs tighten around him. “Oh God, oh Lord, oh touch me, touch me…”  
Gerard blinked at her, unsure of what she thought he’d been doing for the last twenty minutes. He started to thrust harder and faster into her and she gasped, her arms clawing and grabbing at his back. She seized a handful of his hair and pulled him down to kiss her, their noses touching and their eyes barely an inch apart. “Oh GOD, Helena!”  
“Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh… OH, JESUS, OH, OH, PLEASE, OH JESUS OHHH-“ Helena let out a long, trembling breath and pressed her lips tighter against his as she came, shaking hard and pulling painfully on his hair. “Oh, GOD, that felt so GOOD, G!”  
“Oh, God, Helena, I love you…” Gerard kissed her back, touching her harder and harder, and then she was biting and kissing at his neck and chest and he felt himself start to shake. “Oh God, oh God…” He started moving faster and faster, her legs wrapping tightly around his back and lifting herself upwards. “Oh Jesus, Helena, Helena, HELENA!”  
“G, you taste so GOOD!” Helena kept biting on his skin, trembling sucking softly on the bite and running her tongue across it, and he had to force himself to think of baseball to control himself. “Oh, oh, oh, oh JESUS, YOU’RE SO FUCKING DELICIOUS, YOU HAVE NO IDEA!”  
Gerard made a high-pitched noise and pulled her in to kiss him, smiling as she laid her head back on her shoulder and kissed him softly, her hips still moving as his body shook harder and harder. “Oh Helena, Helena, HELENA, HELENA, OH GOD HELENA!”  
Helena let out a quiet scream and came, her body arching and her flushed face looking up into his face as he came himself, shivering and jerking but not breaking eye contact. “Oh Lord, Helena, Helena, Helena…”  
She snuggled up to his side and wrapped her arm around his chest. “I love you, G. For all eternity.  
“I love you too, Helena.” He smiled and kissed her gently. “For all eternity.”


	18. 18

“Where is she?” Korse had Gerard by the back of his copper red wig, and he was silently thanking Frank for teaching him how to firmly pin in long wigs if he ever felt like dressing in drag. The last thing he needed was to be identified as the unknown crimson-haired man. “TELL ME WHERE SHE IS OR I WILL KILL YOU!”  
Gerard gritted his teeth as he was shoved forward through the old mine buildings. “I don’t know.”  
“I know you and her have a thing going, ‘Poison’. I know her MO. She - and you - have pulled a dozen attacks like this. You’ve killed over 4000 assassins and 60,000 draculoids. Are you proud of that?”  
Yes. Gerard fought back a smile. “‘Proud’ is a very strong word.”  
Korse snarled and pushed the gun harder into the back of his head. “‘Proud’ is a very strong word, SIR.”  
Gerard crossed his arms as the assassin shoved him forward by the small of his back. “I will never call you ‘sir’.”  
“I caught you fleeing the top of the Cajon Pass minutes after a train exploded in San Bernardino. I followed you fleeing down the only road leading down that mountain. You want to tell me why you were there?”  
Gerard held his head up proudly. “Wildlife cleanup.”  
“Sure.” Korse snorted. “Now WHERE IS SHE?”  
“I don’t know who you’re talking about.” Gerard shrugged. “I just came here to save all the wild coyotes.”  
“I am talking about HELENA SNOWDEN!” Korse was practically screaming. “I KNOW YOU BROUGHT HER HERE! I KNOW YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS! I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU DO NOT TELL ME!”  
“I have no idea where she is.” Gerard was fighting a tremble in his voice. “No idea at all.”  
“I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KILL YOU RIGHT HERE!”  
“Please.” Gerard gritted his teeth despite himself. “You have no God.”  
“Oh?” Korse kicked him in the knees and Gerard cried out. “I have no God?”  
“No.” Gerard forced himself to stand up straight, even though his legs were screaming. “You have no God.”  
Korse was beside himself with rage. “GIVE ME ONE REASON NOT TO KILL YOU!“  
“I will never tell you where she is.” Gerard pulled himself up to his full height. “I will not let you hurt my wife. She saved my life. I have never loved anyone as I love her. I am her. She is me. I have held her so close her heart has beaten stronger than mine in my chest. She has breathed into my mouth and I into hers.”  
Korse was beside himself with rage. “I AM WILLING TO KILL YOU FIRST-“  
“I’m here.” Helena emerged from the mine office, her hands held up in front of her. “I’m here. Please. Do what you want to me, but don’t hurt him. Let him go.”  
“Awwwwwwww.” Korse feigned sentiment. “That’s adorable.”  
Helena’s eyes filled with panic. “Please, don’t hurt him!”  
Korse’s eyes were hard. “Sorry, I don’t do that.” He flicked off the safety and shot Gerard in the back of the head.  
Helena screamed and fell to her knees, vomiting onto the grass and sobbing as she watched him collapse facedown onto the ground. “No, no, no, no, no…” A bloody halo began to spread around his head and she retched hard, gasping for breath as she crawled over to him and laid her head on his back. “No, oh God, no, no, no…”  
“Yes, Ms Snowden.” He kicked Gerard hard in the side, rolling him lopsidedly onto his back. “For you, though, I’ll give you a count of three.”  
“Fuck you.” Helena kissed Gerard’s forehead and started to stroke the sides of his face with his thumbs. “Oh God, I love you, I love you…”  
“3… Korse raised his eyebrows. “I warn you, this gun is very powerful. It will burn. It will burn unbearably.” He laughed. “2…” He raised it.  
“Don’t worry, Korse.” Helena took Gerard’s hand tightly in hers, sat up, and looked directly at him. “I can take it, bitch.”  
“1…” Gerard felt Helena’s hand yanked from his and heard two strange noises, a strangled gasp, and the sound of a car driving away.  
He shook his head to clear it, the hideous wig finally flying off his head, and looked up. His wife was clutching at her chest with blood pouring through her fingers. “NO! HELENA! HELENA!” He managed to catch her as her legs gave way, cradling her body in his arms, her face looking up at his as she gasped and coughed. “Helena, oh God…”  
“G…” Helena looked confused “G, you’re OK?”  
“Copper wig.” He held it up. “Copper deflects lasers.”  
“But G, you’re bleeding, you’re bleeding…” Helena reached up to him, her hand coming away bright red. “You’re bleeding…”  
“Well…” He shrugged, ignoring the rapidly thickening streams of blood. “It doesn’t deflect ALL the laser…”  
“I’m… I’m so happy you’re OK, G…” Helena closed her eyes. “G, run…”  
He hugged her closer. “No.”  
“You remember… you remember that train at San Bernardino…” Helena swallowed in a breath. “The crude oil… the chlorine… the gasoline. The incendiary bomb on the gas pipeline set for the same time, full speed… I want you to do it again, find the right compound and do it again…” She burst into tears. “I wish I could be there with you, G, I wish that so much, my life is you.”  
“Fuck the trains.” Gerard leaned down and kissed her gently. “All I want is you, Helena. All I’ve ever wanted is you.”  
“I’m sorry.” Helena looked into his eyes, reaching up to stroke the side of his face. “I’m sorry…” She smiled fajntly. “I didn’t want to love you, I swear, I was going to fuck and run…”  
Gerard blinked, “How… romantic.”  
Helena managed a laugh. “But you looked at me, and I looked at you, and… I’m so sorry, G.”  
He kissed her gently. “Why are you sorry?”  
“For… everything.” She coughed out a huge spurt of blood and he carefully wiped it off her face, biting his lip. “I didn’t want to get involved but… but I… after we…" She looked up at the sky. "Please let me stay, I want to stay…”  
He smiled at her, leaned down, and kissed her, silently horrified by the two enormous burned holes over her heart. “Of course-“ he choked back tears. “Of course you can stay. You’re my wife.”  
“I love you.” She looked into his eyes and tried to stroke his face again but was too weak to move her arm. He took her wrist and pressed her hand against his face, and she smiled weakly and gripped his hair. “Hold me against you, G.”  
“But-“ He could see the amount of blood soaking into his jeans and pooling beneath him. “But… your face… I want to see your face…”  
“Please.” She stroked the side of his neck with her finger with the hand clinging to his hair, and he finally started to cry.  
Gerard, she’s dying. “But…” He looked around wildly. Gerard, she’s dying. “We can make it better, you can tell me how to make it better-“  
“You can’t.” She smiled sadly and looped a strand of his hair around her fingers. “Please.”  
Gerard swallowed and lifted her up, pressing his chest against her and hugging her tightly, wrapping his arms around her back and moulding his body against hers. She kissed his neck and rested her head against his shoulder, her breath hitching, “You’re still…delicious…G.” She gasped, her hand slipping away from his hair so both her arms hung limply at her sides. She looked up at his face and smiled weakly. “I can still feel… your heart beating in my chest.” She coughed and spat out a gout of blood. “I love feeling that…”  
“Well, I love it when you tell me I’m delicious.” He smiled back and kissed her gently. “I can feel your heart too. It’s stronger than mine,” he lied, stroking her hair. He could feel it, but it was fluttering and weak, barely there. He leaned in and kissed her, stroking her lips with his thumb. Her eyes were starting to glaze and Gerard felt a rush of panic. “Helena, Helena, stay with me!” She was barely breathing. He kissed her and cradled her in his arms again. “Please don’t leave me already, Helena, it’s too soon!”  
“I… I can’t breathe…” She closed her eyes. “I… I can’t… I can’t breathe, G…”  
“Helena, open your eyes, open your eyes, come on, let me see you, come on Helena, come on…” He shook her and she opened her eyes slightly. “Helena, Helena, I love you so much, please tell me how to help you, oh God…”  
“G.” She smiled and tried to hug him. “You... you can’t…” She swallowed. “Destroy them, G. Kill them all.”  
“I will, I swear.” He bit his lip. “You and Hope, you… you’re my life…”  
“Hope…” She smiled faintly and closed her eyes again.  
“No, Helena, it’s too soon, it’s too soon!” He kissed her desperately. “Hold on, please!”  
“It’ll… It’ll be… OK.” She looked up into his eyes and tried to smile. “I will…” she gasped, sucking in air, blood pouring from both sides of her mouth. “I will come back for you.”  
“Helena, Helena, Helena…” Gerard clutched her hand tightly. “I love you, Helena, please, all I want is you!”  
“Take… take…” Helena coughed up an enormous spray of blood, desperately trying to breathe. “Our girl… take good care of… of her…”  
“Of course I will.” Gerard kissed her and stroked her hair. “And I won’t let her forget how wonderful her amazing mother was.”  
“I love you so much.” Helena smiled weakly, her eyes unfocused and her voice dreamy. “For eternity.”  
“I love you too. For eternity.” Gerard leaned in and kissed her, and suddenly realised he couldn’t feel her heart beating in his chest any more. “Helena?” He lowered her into his lap and saw her eyes were blank and her body was limp and still. “Helena. Helena.” He waved his hand in front of her eyes but she didn’t react. ”HELENA?!” He shook her. “HELENA! HELENA!” He leaned down and kissed her, tightening his arms around her. “HELENA!”  
Helena didn’t move, and he pressed his ear against her chest. Nothing. “No, No, Helena!” He hugged her tighter and started to cry harder, leaned down, and kissed her again and again and again, lifting her and cradling her in his arms, rocking her and sobbing. “Helena, Helena, Helena…” He stroked her hair. “Helena, Helena, oh Helena, I love you, oh God…” He closed her eyes and started to cry harder and harder, pressing her head against his neck, turning his head to kiss her forehead. “Helena, This isn’t me giving up on you. I still want to be with you for eternity.” He kissed her again and stroked her hair. “I promise.” He swallowed and leaned in to whisper in her ear, stroking her hair.

“Maybe life is to be without your presence,  
Without you moving, slicing the noon  
Like a blue flower, without you walking  
Later through the fog and the cobbles,

With the light you carry in your hand,  
Golden, which maybe others will not see,  
Which maybe no one knew was growing  
Like the red beginnings of a rose,

In short, without your presence: without your coming  
Suddenly, incitingly, to know your life,  
Gust of a rosebush, wheat of wind:

Since then you are because I am,  
Since then you are, I am, we are,  
And through love I will be, you will be, we’ll be.”

Gerard smiled bitterly. “I thought you might like one last read of Neruda.” He began to rock her again, sobbing uncontrollably. “Helena…”


	19. 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penultimate chapter. Enjoy!

News headlines from underground free press:

"Fugitive Helena Snowden located in Cajon Pass area of California, BLI forces rapidly closing in"

“Description of Snowden Trans Am updated to include new blue colour scheme”

“Snowden computer virus mutates yet again, wiping out all key BLI communications systems and knocking out electronic grid”

"Rapidly growing rumours of 'miraculous survival' of insurgent shot in head by BLI chief assassin angrily squashed by new CEO"

“Helena Snowden tied to creation of 'Dr D', blamed for spreading mass panic”

“San Bernardino train disaster dubbed an 'accident' by BLI authorities, despite doubts”  


“Photo array of fugitive crimson-haired man tied to Helena Snowden with multiple haircuts and colours issued by BLI; $1,000,000 reward advertised  


———————————————  


Jet Star frowned. “Can you hear the Trans Am?”  
“Sure.” Fun Ghoul grinned, Hope giggling happily in his lap as she played with her squeezy toy. “I’d know my beautiful girl’s purr anywhere.”  
“Gross.” Kobra mimed gagging.  
“No, WEIRD.” said Jet Star.  
Ghoul frowned as it skidded unevenly to a stop at the side of the road, taking out three cacti. “Why isn’t it wearing its blue skin - oh my God.”  
Poison was slowly walking up the road towards them, soaked head to toe in blood and carrying Helena's body in his arms. Fun Ghoul quickly thrust Hope at Jet Star, who seemed rooted to the ground as he stared at Poison. “Ray, take Hope, take her away, anywhere. Don’t let her see this.”  
Kobra grabbed Jet Star’s arm and pulled him away towards the diner. “Come on, he’s right. She can’t be here.”  
Ghoul ran up to Poison as Jet Star staggered blindly towards the diner cradling Hope, with Kobra trying to shield any view she might get of her mother. “Poison. Poison, what happened?” He recoiled in shock at the wounds in Helena’s chest, Gerard’s blue jacket carefully draped around her shoulders. “Oh, Jesus Christ, Gerard…”  
“She’s dead.” Tears were streaming down Gerard’s face and leaving streaks in the blood. “She’s dead.” He started to cry harder and hugged Helena’s body tighter against him. “She’s dead…”  
“Come on, come on,” Frank guided him towards the motel. “Give her to me, Gerard.”  
“NO!” Gerard clutched Helena, refusing to let her go as Frank tried to pry her out of his arms. “No, you can’t take her too!”  
“Come on, Gerard, it's me, it's Frank, it's your best friend, come on,” Frank eased Helena’s body out of Gerard’s arms and carried her into the hotel as Gerard stumbled blindly after him and sobbed. “Who shot her? Was it a drac? Did Korse do this?”  
“She’s dead.” Gerard shook his head and stared at the blood covering his hands. “Oh God, she’s dead…”  
“Yes, Gerard, I know.” Frank carefully laid Helena’s body on the bed in his room and turned around to see Gerard pulling his yellow gun and pressing it under his chin. “WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, GERARD, DROP THE GUN!”  
“She’s dead.” Gerard started to cry harder, his whole body shaking. “I tried to fix it but she died, I couldn’t save her…”  
“You still have Hope, think of her.” Frank edged towards Gerard, reaching out as he stared at Helena’s body on the bed. “Give me the gun, Gerard.”  
“She’s covered in blood,” he said blankly, pressing the gun harder against his skin. “She’s so beautiful but she’s covered in blood, there was so much blood, oh God, Frank, there was so much blood…”  
Frank held up the palms of his hands and kept edging towards Gerard. “We can wash her skin and hair, Gerard, just give me the gun.”  
“It’s my fault.” Gerard was still staring at Helena. His finger was on the trigger now. All I wanted was to die with her.”  
Frank swallowed. “It’s not your fault. Give me the gun.”  
“No.” Gerard’s finger was tightening. "He shot me first. I should have died with her. All I wanted was to die with her.” He started sobbing. "Why couldn't I just have died with her, Frank?"  
“Look, Gerard.” Frank sighed. “What did you tell me Helena said to you when you first met?”  
Gerard frowned. “She called me a bitch.”  
That sounded like Helena. Frank suppressed a smile. “Before that.”  
“She said…” Gerard smiled and lowered his gun. “She said ‘suicide is bullshit’.”  
“OK, now give me the gun, there…” Frank edged closer and Gerard finally handed over his gun, still staring at Helena. “First we’re going to clean you off, OK? Then I'm going to look at your injuries. Where did he shoot you?”   
Gerard was staring at his dead wife again. "In the head."  
Frank nearly fell over in shock. "He shot you in the HEAD?"   
"Yeah." Gerard snorted and wiped his eyes as Frank picked through his tangled crimson hair, wincing at the deep grooves and burns. "Stupid copper wig."  
Frank hesitated, and then swallowed slowly. “Uh… I’m not sure I should give you this, but she left you something, just in case-“ He had barely pulled an envelope from his pocket before Gerard seized it and tore it open, leaving bloody fingerprints on the paper. It was a single sheet of paper, written in Helena’s beautiful neat looping script.

To G:

“If I die, survive me with such a pure force  
You make the pallor and the coldness rage;  
Flash your indelible eyes from south to south,  
From sun to sun, till your mouth sings like a guitar.

I don’t want your laugh or your footsteps to waver;  
I don’t want my legacy of happiness to die;  
Don’t call to my breast; I’m not there.  
Live in my absence as in a house.

Absence is such a large house  
That you’ll walk through the walls,  
Hang pictures in sheer air.

Absence is such a transparent house  
That even being dead I will see you there,  
And if you suffer, Love, I’ll die a second time.” 

“Helena loved Neruda.” Gerard smiled bitterly, and then his face crumpled. “Frank, she’s…she’s dead…” He started to cry again as Frank pulled the sheet of paper out of his hands, pushed him into the shower, and turned on the water. “Oh God…”  
“I know…” Frank stepped into the shower with him and started to gently shampoo his hair, the blood running out of it in streams and his pale skin reappearing as it ran off him and down the shower drain. “I know, Gerard, I’m so sorry…” Frank washed the blood carefully out of Gerard’s hair.  
“She’s dead, Frank.” Gerard looked at him. “I loved her and now…” He was still crying. “And now she’s dead, I loved her and I said she could stay but now she’s dead…”  
Frank silently pulled Gerard’s blood-soaked tank top off over his head, scrubbing his skin clean with soap and impatiently swatting away Gerard’s wire brush. He reached down and took off Gerard’s shoes and socks, peeling off his bloody jeans until all he was wearing was his Doom Patrol boxers, washing off the last of the blood as Gerard shivered violently, his arms wrapped around himself as he muttered Helena’s name and cried. “OK. Go and put some clean clothes on, and we’ll take you to see Hope.” Frank piled the bloody clothing in the corner of the shower and turned off the water. He pulled Gerard quickly towards the door, trying to avoid him looking at Helena’s body on the bed, but Gerard wrenched his arm free and reached out to stroke her hair. “Helena…”  
“Gerard. Gerard, come on.” Frank tried to take his arm and Gerard shook him off. “Gerard, this isn’t healthy.”  
“Nothing scared her, not even dying.” Gerard took Helena’s hand in his. “Then… then we had Hope, and…”  
“Gerard, you are going into shock,” said Frank. “You stay here, and you could die too. Is that what you want?”  
“I loved her, Frank.” He stroked Helena’s cheek, red smudges coming off on his hand. “I loved her so much.”  
“I know you did.” Frank hugged Gerard, who was still shaking hard. “Look, Gerard, come on. we have to get you out of here. She wouldn’t want this.” He finally managed to get Gerard to take his arm and took him down the corridor to the laundry room, pulling some clean jeans and a black Ramones tank top out of what he had learned was the “clean clothes” pile. He gave up on finding matching socks after a few minutes of searching and started to dress Gerard, who was still staring blindly at nothing and shivering. “We all loved her too, Gerard.”  
Gerard looked at him. “It’s too soon. I didn’t get long enough with her.”  
“I know.” Frank finally managed to pry Gerard’s arms apart and pulled on the tank top, then hugged him tightly. “Remember the time you did get with her, Gerard. Remember the poem she left you. She loved you. She loved you more than any of us can ever know.” He let him go. “Do you want to go and see your daughter?”  
Gerard nodded and they walked down the road to the diner. Jet Star and Kobra were sitting in silence and Jet Star immediately stood up and held out Hope to her father, who took her from him and cradled her in his arms. “Hope.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead, smiling as her chubby arms reached up and pulled at his hair. “Did you miss Daddy? I think you did.” He hugged her and she squirmed irritably.  
“She asked for you every day.” Frank forced a smile. “We tried getting a red mop, but she noticed.”  
“I missed her too.” Gerard laughed bitterly. “So did Helena. She cried every day.”  
“Mama?” Hope looked around excitedly, expecting her beloved mother, and then burst into wails of confusion and desperation. “Mama?!”  
Gerard’s lip started to tremble and he broke down, pressing Hope against the side of his face and sobbing harder and harder,  
“Gerard. Gerard. GERARD!” Gerard looked at him blankly and Frank put his hand on his shoulder. “Are you going to be OK?”  
“Yes.” Gerard nodded and swallowed back fresh tears. “Her last words were…” His voice caught in his throat and he sniffed. “Her last words were to look after our Girl.”  
“And all of us will help.” Jet Star. “She’s the Killjoy baby.”  
“Yes.” Gerard kissed her head. “She’s the Killjoy baby.” He looked at the others and gritted his teeth. “I think we have work to do.”


	20. 20

News headlines from underground free press:

“Helena Snowden finally eliminated by BLI chief assassin, insurgents unleash fresh wave of bombing attacks on BLI institutions”

“Mystery crimson-haired man tied conclusively to Helena Snowden; “red alert” issued

“Hunt is on for previously unknown daughter of eliminated fugitive Helena Snowden, dubbed only “The Girl”

“Two dozen crude oil trains derail, causing mass carnage in BLI installations and killing thousands”

"Doubts raised about earlier San Bernardino 'accident' warning following recent derailments, uncovering of IEDs"< /p>

“Photo array of fugitive crimson-haired man tied to Helena Snowden with multiple haircuts and colours issued by BLI; $1,000,000 reward advertised  


———————————————  


“Helena, I will never love anyone like I love you.” Gerard leaned down and kissed his dead wife’s forehead, cradling her in his arms and lifting her off the bed to unzip the back of her gown. “I’m so, so sorry I let this happen to you.” He carefully slipped off her gown and undid the back of her bloodstained bra, running his finger along the edge of the lace. “I remember picking this out for you. It was after Hope was born. I think you were probably building bombs.” He smiled. “You were complaining that you didn’t feel sexy any more, and I just wanted to make you feel as beautiful as you are.” He carefully lifted up her arms, slipping the straps up and over her hands and kissing the wedding and engagement rings on her finger. “I remember the night after we first met in Amboy, when you crept into my room. I was having the worst day of my life, but the moment you crawled into bed with me it was… better. You just lay with me, and… and held me, and then when I looked Into your eyes everything else just… went away.” He lifted the back of her head and undid her hair clip, letting her long black hair fall loose around her bare shoulders as he laid her back down on the bed. “And when we were first… together, it wasn’t because I was hot for you.” He paused. “I mean, I was, but that wasn’t the point. I just wanted to… be with you. Not just sexually. I wanted all of you. I wanted everything.” He laughed and stroked her hair, carefully lifting her knees and easing off her panties. “And then you nearly ate me alive.”  
Gerard cradled her in his arms and lifted her body carefully off the bed, all of her grace and elegance gone as she hung loosely in his arms. He pressed his lips against her forehead and buried his face in the side of her neck, breathing in the scent of her skin and her hair as he carried her towards the bathtub, trying to ignore the metallic tang of blood in his mouth. “Helena, I love you. I love you so much.” He paused and then climbed into the tub with her fully clothed, holding her face against his cheek as he washed her hair. “Frank went to fetch your favourite gown, the one you were wearing when we met. I hope that’s OK. It was always my favourite too.”  
He kissed her forehead and started to wash the blood off her face and chest, studiously avoiding looking at the burned wounds over her heart. “I’m so sorry you never got to see Hope again, but I promise I won’t let her forget you. I don’t have much, only a few pictures, but I’ll tell you how much you loved her, how much I loved you, and I’ll make sure she knows all about her wonderful mother.” He kissed her cheek and ran his fingers through her long hair. “Don’t worry, I’ll get Frank to redo your makeup for you.” He grinned. “He always does mine, and we both know how pretty I am.” He kissed her and started to stroke her hair again. “I love you, Helena. I… I wish I had died there with you, but-“ He bit his lip, tears streaming down his face. “But it wasn’t meant to be, and… and…” He swallowed, carefully lifting and washing the blood off her long legs. “Soon me and Frank are going to take you to Saint Ann’s Catholic Church, about an hour… about an hour from where we first met.” He laughed. “You know, when you kissed me because you had to and then I threw up like 5 dozen valium pills and a huge bottle of pineapple vodka all over the road.” He kissed her cheek again. “Helena, I wanted to protect you from all the terrible things out there, I did, I tried, I swear, but… but… but I couldn’t, and… oh God… He hugged her tightly, buried his face in her hair and sobbed.

“Gerard?” There was a knock at the door. “Gerard?” Frank peeked his head around the door and swore loudly. “Gerard, Jesus Christ…” He threw Helena’s red and black gown on the bed and ran to his friend, grabbing his arm. “Gerard, this water is freezing! How long have you been in there?”  
Gerard just shook his head and clung to Helena as Frank pried him away and lifted him out of the bathwater, handing him a blanket. “Do you want me to lift Helena out too, or-“  
“DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH HER!” Gerard pulled back and socked Frank hard in the face, throwing the blanket over him and shoving him to the floor. “I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KILL YOU!” He carefully lifted Helena out of the water, laying her on the bed. He cradled her body in his arms, stroking her hair as he dried her off, before gently kissing her forehead and slipping her gown on over her head. He slowly laced it up and laid her back on the bed, smiling to himself as he slid on her beloved black ballet shoes and looped the ribbons up around her slim ankles and legs. “Helena, Helena, Helena…” He lay on the bed beside her, stroking her hair. “God, you look so beautiful…”  
“Fuck you, Gerard.” Frank sat up and threw off the blanket. “I swear, if you-“ He stopped, his face softening as he saw him lying beside Helena. “Gerard, please don’t make me have to do this again.” He sighed. “I don’t think I could bear to.”  
“It’s OK.” Gerard bit his lip and shook his head. “I promised her you’d redo her makeup after I washed her face. Her makeup bag is on the table. She likes the… the Chanel Rouge Noir nail polish, and the Coco Noir perfume, and…” He choked back fresh tears. “Put the diamond and sapphire necklace on her, and... and the matching earrings. They were her favourites. She was so happy when I gave them to her.” He gave up and started to cry. “And use the dark red lipstick I bought her. She loves… loved it. She loved it.” He paused. “And she told me to always use a lip brush, whatever the fuck that is.“ He looked up at Frank, his eyes filled with tears. "She's so beautiful, Frank. She's so, so beautiful."  
Gerard took Helena’s hand in his again and kissed it, leaning in to whisper in her ear as Frank carefully tucked the blanket around him. “We’re moving to Amboy in a few days, me and the guys and Hope.” Gerard smiled. “I’m sure you remember the motel. It’s the one with the broken light fitting in the front hallway and the broken condom machine in the rear bathroom.” He kissed her cheek. “Plus the tyre marks from a 1978 Trans Am in the gravel outside.” He squeezed her hand. “I’m so sorry, Helena. I promise I’ll visit you at the cemetery every weekend, and I’ll bring Hope when she gets bigger.” He kissed her hand and rested his forehead on hers. “I love you, Helena. For eternity."

\---------

Late that night, someone wearing a blue leather jacket and motorcycle boots and driving a 1978 Trans Am used Helena's BLI@CalTech card to swipe through the fourteen readers into the secure area. He turned, giving the military-resolution grade colour CCTV camera facing her lab time to take in his face and crimson hair, before holding up his hand and opening and closing his fingers in greeting. He raised an eyebrow and then slowly pointed at his eyes, at the camera, and back at his eyes in an "I'm watching you" gesture.

Then he grinned sadly, turned on his heel, and slowly walked away.


	21. Epilogue

NEW HOUSTON - 5 YEARS LATER

Hope… Hope… Hope… Hope… Hope… Gerard bit his lip, still staring straight ahead as they sped towards the newly-rebuilt tunnel leading into New Houston in his beloved 1978 Trans Am. Hope… Hope… Hope…  
“Don’t worry, buddy.” Frank put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “We’re going to get her back.”  
“What we’re going to do is die,” muttered Kobra under his breath.  
“Which is why he arranged for some of Helena’s old friends to follow us,” snapped Frank. “No one here cares what happens to them. If you’re going to be a selfish bastard, we can just leave you right here and no one would give a flying shit.”  
Kobra swallowed and went back to staring at his lap, hearing the collective deep breath as the car finally shot into the tunnel. Gerard flipped down the visor, took a long look at the photograph of Helena he had tucked in there, smiling and pregnant in her ballet shoes and leotard, and floored the gas.  
He barely noticed the first BLI employees as the car smashed into them and through the barriers, chaos littering the road behind them. He smiled a little, remembering the day they had broken into CalTech with Helena, and felt a sudden wave of shame. God knows what she must think of him for letting BLI get the drop on them fast enough to steal her beloved daughter away.  
“You know, we could have come up with a cover story and NOT given them all this nice useful advance warning.” Kobra had a look of disgust on his face. “You couldn’t have taken a different car for once? Maybe rented a nice little Prius?”  
“This is Helena’s car.” Jet Star’s voice was quiet and choked up.  
Kobra rolled his eyes. “Yes, I KNOW it’s Helena’s precious car, and I also know it has a BOLO on it, and that trying to enter the most heavily fortified complex in the country in it is a really fucking stupid idea.”  
“Poison insisted we use it.” Jet Star glared at Kobra. “He’s made his choice.”  
“And it sure was a great choice, now they’ll be arming up with all kinds of fun things.” Kobra gritted his teeth.  
“Poison…” Frank leaned in through the gap in the seats. “I will give my life to protect that little girl. We will get her back. I promise you.”  
Gerard smiled for a second and then swerved to a stop in front of the new footbridge, built to prevent a truck bomb like the one Helena and Jet Star had carried out six years earlier. “Follow the plan,” he muttered under his breath, and then they were all out of the car and striding across the bridge, guns drawn, watching the cameras swivel towards them. Gerard was easily ten feet ahead, almost running by the time they shot their way into the building and split up. Gerard saw Hope almost immediately, sitting cross-legged on the floor in a boardroom, and he ran for her and gathered her up in a tight hug. “Hope…”  
“Daddy…” His daughter hugged him back, her breath catching in her throat. “They told me you didn’t want me, that you left me on purpose, that you were never coming back for me!”  
Those bastards. Gerard immediately vowed to himself to kill as many as he could find. “That was a lie, Hope.” He kissed her cheek. “I’ve been looking for you for a long, long time.”  
Hope sniffed and hugged him tighter and Gerard kissed her forehead, wrapping his arms even more tightly around her, fully aware this was probably the last time he would ever see his daughter. “I love you, Hope.” He kissed her cheek again. “Never forget how much Daddy loves you.”  
Hope pulled away and grinned. “I love you too, Daddy!”  
Gerard forced a smile. “That’s my girl.” He kissed her forehead and took her little hand in his, leading her to where the others were waiting. “EVERYONE CLEAR OUT, GO GO GO!”  
“Go?” Hope looked up at him. “Where are we going, Daddy?”  
“Home, sweetheart.” He ruffled Hope’s hair. “You want to lead the way like Daddy does?”  
Hope grinned and nodded excitedly, and he laughed and gave her a little push. “Then let’s do this.”  
Oh shit. The lobby was suddenly full of dracs and shooting and chaos. “Hope?” Gerard looked around desperately for Hope but couldn’t see her. “Hope! HOPE!”  
“She’s OK, Poison.” Frank was there. “Stay calm.”  
She’s OK. Gerard almost fainted with relief. OK. Stay calm. “HOPE, DARLING, LIE DOWN!” He saw her standing in the middle of the room with her hands clamped over her ears. “LIE DOWN, HOPE!” He couldn’t shoot wildly in case he hit his daughter and immediately strode over to her, adopting a defensive pose with Kobra and shielding her from all the other shooting. Frank emerged and took out three dracs aiming at Hope, and then Gerard saw a fourth one, hiding around a corner and drawing careful aim on his daughter. He was over there in an instant, shooting the drac in the back of the head… and then his mask came off in his hand and the dead drac fell to the floor in front of him, a human man with hair like Mikey’s natural colour and Helena’s green eyes.  
Oh God… they’re real people… Gerard stared at the empty mask in his hand and the dead man on the floor. He’s a real person and I killed him… He probably has a wife and a family, and now he’s never going to come home… He couldn’t breathe and felt like he was going to throw up. I’m a good person, I have to be, how could I do this? He felt rooted to the spot, occasionally letting off a vague shot but unable to take his eyes off the mask. I killed them all and I thought I was doing good, that the thousands and thousands were evil, but they were real people, and I did it, I did it, I’m trying to raise my daughter in a world without death and I’m the worst of them all, oh God…  
“POISON!” Kobra was staring at him irritably. “SNAP OUT OF IT!”  
Gerard just shook his head, firing off some more half-hearted shots snd staring at the mask. Everything was a haze. Nothing made sense to him and he glanced around blindly, trying to find one of the others to help him, but there was nothing there but a bloody mass of dead dracs. Dracs he had killed. Dracs he had killed triumphantly.  
I thought we were the good guys, how could I have done this? I’ve never had to kill someone face to face, I mean without a mask, and I didn’t realise… I didn’t realise how it felt, it’s like they weren’t actual people but they were, and I-  
“POISON! HEADS UP!” screamed Ghoul, and Gerard looked up just in time for a pale white hand to close around his throat and push him against the wall, forcing his head back as the white plastic of a long BLI-issue gun pressed hard against his chin. The last time he had seen Korse was the day the assassin had murdered his wife, and suddenly Gerard felt an odd sense of calm. It was almost poetic. He shot Kobra a look, desperately trying to tell him to stay where he was and protect Hope, but Kobra had already abandoned her and was running towards them. Gerard looked calmly back at Korse, Kobra and Ghoul’s shouts echoing in his head, and then- nothing. He didn’t feel the burn of the laser. He didn't feel brain stem fry, his body immediately shut down, his heart stop. He didn’t hear his daughter’s heartrending scream of grief as she saw her beloved father die. He didn’t see Ghoul rooted to the ground, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. He didn’t feel his body slide down the wall and hit the ground. He didn’t see Ghoul lock the doors and stare down the dracs, taking five shots to the chest before finally collapsing and giving Hope time to flee. He didn’t see Frank finally die with a small smile on his face, knowing his beloved Hope was safe. In the midst of all the chaos and yelling and shooting, there was… nothing.

And then, then there was a familiar voice, a familiar scent, a familiar swish of skirts before him.

“I don’t love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz,   
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:   
I love you as one loves certain obscure things,   
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom but carries   
the light of those flowers, hidden, within itself,   
and thanks to your love the tight aroma that arose   
from the earth lives dimly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,   
I love you directly without problems or pride:  
I love you like this because I don’t know any other way to love,  
except in this form in which I am not nor are you,   
so close that your hand upon my chest is mine,   
so close that your eyes close with my dreams.”

No. Gerard felt something in his head clear and he opened his eyes to see a pair of black ballet shoes in front of him, laced with ribbons and scuffed with red dust. His eyes followed the ribbons up her perfect long white legs to the netting and unusual hemline of Helena’s favourite gown, and then he saw her smiling down at him, offering him her hand. He smiled and took it, feeling her pull him to his feet, and then her arms were around him and she was kissing him gently, stroking the side of his face and smiling against his lips. “Gerard, Gerard, Gerard…”  
“Oh God, Helena!” He buried his face in her hair and hugged her as tightly as he could. “I’ve missed you so much, all I’ve thought of is you…”  
He saw his body lying on the floor, waiting for a body bag, and recoiled. It had a harsh burn mark on the chin, but other than that he could have been sleeping. “Helena, I…” He touched his chin and felt nothing but smooth skin, and suddenly saw that the wounds in Helena’s chest were gone. “Am I-“  
“Dead? Yes, my love.” Helena kissed him softly. “But our Hope is safe, and she will grow into a fine young lady. You should be proud of what you’ve done.” She wiped away a tear. “She looks so beautiful, G, she’s grown so fast…”  
“I know. Keeping her in clothes has been a nightmare.” Gerard smiled. “You know, she’s only 6, but she already built us a radio from scrap, and she is quite the dancer. I got her her first pair of ballet shoes a month ago.”  
“I know.” Helena kissed him again and pressed her head against his neck. “I love you so much, G. For eternity.”  
“I love you too.” Gerard turned his face to kiss her forehead, stroking the side of her face. “For eternity.”


End file.
